Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

Teaching child and mental development - IELTS academic writing task 2


minhtrile010 1 / -  
Jan 12, 2020   #1
Children should be forced to read novels from every major genre, including fiction, science fiction, sports, romance, comics, horror, and crime. Being widely read will mean children will have a better understanding of the world around them.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?



There have been the controversies between the notions of whether allow children to approach with all sorts of novels to absorb the variety of the general knowledge. From my perspective, I would affirm that this ideology seems to be too risky to proceed as the drawbacks it brought back is extensively detrimental and I will illustrate by the following aspects.

On the first hand, a number of children is not guaranteed to determine if the books is valuable and practical enough to apply in the realistic life. With the immature awareness as well as the unprofessional dilemma skills, they can not become deterrent from the influence of danger - potential books. To these innocent mentality, it is apparent that they are unable to distinguish between the obscure and relevant knowledge to adapt with. Unfortunately for incapable ones, they might fall into virtual worlds and be witnessed with psycho stages. A good point in the debates would be the horror novels. they can easily attach with vulnerability and be devastated by frightening scenes which can damage mental health.

On the other aspect, nonetheless, kids who aren't possibly exerted impact ought to, in contrast, be likely acknowledge and establish the fundamental 'shield' to intercept from luring and negative stance towards inhumane observation. For instance, they adequately considers violence and delinquencies are inappropriate and detrimental to society and themselves. this could regard as a talent due to the fact that they temporarily set up the self - protection in psychology at a very young ages where, especially, a magnificent number of adults contemporary are still unable to acquire.

From the indications we discuss above, parents should be the leaders in raising child's mental development. whether we apply this teaching method or not, we - guiders should supervise them in all cases , to check if their growing revolution is at right path and effective.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 11,159 3635  
Jan 12, 2020   #2
First up, do not exaggerate the importance of the discussions being presented. The prompt offered you a simple discussion. Not a controversial discussion. Neither is the topic a controversy. The proper term to use would have been "discussion" or "points of view" but most definitely not "controversy". Use simple, rather than complex words in the writing of these essays. It helps you to avoid vocabulary errors. You have focused so much on trying to impress the examiner with your vocabulary knowledge that you failed to see that the words you have chosen to use do not make for a coherent sentence. Much less a cohesive paragraph. What you wrote are unnecessarily complex sentences that do not make much sense to a native English speaker. Perhaps you were translating from your vernacular, which is what often poses problems for the test takers. What sounds right in your mother tongue will not always translate properly into English due to word choices and sentence structure issues.


Home / Writing Feedback / Teaching child and mental development - IELTS academic writing task 2