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Ielts task 2: teaching children a special skill to tell the right and wrong

Eve0309 3 / 5  
Aug 31, 2017   #1
Here is the topic:

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children?

understanding the distinction between right and wrong

In fact, the skill to tell right and wrong comes from experience and good parenting, However, a lot of people also argue that punish is a necessary action to help them recognize the distinction between right or wrong. In my opinion, punish did not really help early children to understand. Therefore, I have to disagree almost all the given statement.

It is very wrong and foolish if you punished a very young child because they did not understand what happened and why they get punished. However, once the children are reached a certain age, the parent can start to give a rewarded for a good behavior or discourage for a bad action. To using this way will be better than just harsh punishments and even have more positive impact. Meanwhile, the way to discourage them should be not bring the physical punish or inappropriate word. In addition, it will be better if parent or teacher trying to present the right action for them and give them the positive message though the action.

On the other hand, it is also helpful if teacher and parent also becomes a good model because an early age children will neutrally fallow the adult. Therefore; to showing the right behaviors for the children from the begging is easier than trying to correct them.

Overall, teacher and parents should show the good behavior and remember to give a reward to encourage child, so the punishment will become unnecessary and may also let them understand the distinction between right and wrong.

Thanks for everyone who trying to help my essay, I really really appreciate you and your valued time. Thank you so much :)).

Holt [Contributor] - / 8,847 2635  
Aug 31, 2017   #2
Chou, you cannot start your opening paragraph with the phrase "In fact". That is a term that is used to connote a stronger evidence of a previously presented piece of information. In this instance, you have not presented any information yet, so using that reiterating phrase is not applicable. You must first discuss something before you can reinforce your statement by saying "In fact..."

You must familiarize yourself with the English terms that you want to use. Just knowing how the word sounds, but not how it is spelled will result in a disaster for your LR score. The following words were misspelled in your essay:

1. neutrally (naturally)
2. begging (beginning)

You also need to know that the essays will always be written in present tense therefore, all of your tense usage must be in present, instead of past form. You made that mistake with the term "punished". You should have used the present tense of the word which is "punish".

Save for these technical errors on your part, the message of your essay is clear. Your thoughts are easily understood and does not cause undue stress for the reviewer. If you can improve upon these problem points in your next essays (for starters), we should have you well on your way towards a passing score for the test in no time.
tunglinh0907 8 / 18 3  
Sep 1, 2017   #3
I think your conclusion is quite short, and in your essay, there are a few grammar mistakes.
it is also helpful if teacher and parent also becomeS a good model because early age children will neutrally fOllow the adult.

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