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Writing Task 2: Team sports or individual sports. Which is more beneficial? Give your opinion.

Gnaight 2 / 3  
Oct 11, 2021   #1
Task 2:
Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In the era of development, sports are multiform and considered indispensable with enormous benefits to humans. Some people hold the opinion that playing sports in teams brings many advantages to humans' life, while others believe that individual sports are more beneficial than team sports in different aspects. Both views are discussed and my perspective will be proposed later.

For people who approve team sports, it is advantageous in many ways when taking part in sports with teammates. Regularly, players in this kind of sports, like football, are formed in specific roles and trained with different professions; however, in a match, all of them have to collapse and each person needs to express their capability with the common aim of achieving a gold medal. Therefore, establishing a team which includes many players can help them to practice their how to cooperate and control their feelings in order not to put personality above common targets.

In contrast, some people stand in the opposite view that individual sports create more favourable conditions for athletes than letting them play in teams due to the effectiveness of individual coaching. People believe that coaching one by one makes the training process not to be interrupted by many factors, for example, the lateness of teammates. Instead of waiting partners which lead to delay the process, practicing alone helps athletes to save time and focus on the training.

In my opinion, each sport type brings different advantages and both of them are important to humans. Every sport has its own nature, therefore, because of that dissimilarity, people can not put them on the scale of benefit and discuss whether team sports or individual sports are more valuable.

In conclusion, the value of two sport kinds is still controversial when team-sport advocates think that playing sports in teams can be a proper method to connect people while others support sports which are played alone due to the efficiency in practicing. I am in the middle of the scale and believe that each of them has their own role in helping humans.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 13,562 4442  
Oct 23, 2021   #2
The discussion paragraphs can use more development. Do not end the paragraph after the example presentation. Add a sentence or two that will further support the example provided. Those final few sentences will help add to the cohesiveness of the related paragraph discussion points while adding to the coherence of your thought process as you developed the reasoning paragraph.

You could have better developed your neutral opinion had you chosen to further develop the discussion. What your opinion lacked was an expanded discussion. This time, you forgot to present relevant examples that would have proved your point. This could have been presented effectively based on personal experience or knowledge.

All things considered, it is still a well written essay, falling short only because of example discussions.

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