Regular and Election Days
I need some help in checking my writing technique and my essay structure and please rate it
thanks
Regular and Election Days
What is it like to have an election day in the American University of Beirut (AUB)?
The election day in AUB was somehow different than a regular day there. The election day was exciting and full of events, while a regular day was full of routines. There are some similarities and differences between a normal day and an election day in the AUB.
One of the few similarities between the two days is the classes. On both, the regular and the election days, classes were not canceled. All teachers took attendance and gave a class. For example, my English teacher gave us, the students, a lecture even though half the class was absent. Also, students still had to do their exams. All exams were taken in their proper timings. There were no excuses for candidates and voters. . For instance, I took a math exam that day at the time of voting. Even make up exams were not delayed. For students who hate "studying", the election day is technically similar to the regular day.
But, there are many major differences between these two days. One of these differences is the educational atmosphere. On regular days there is a serious educational atmosphere. Usually, students pay attention to their teachers and show some concern. Some students whine about their classes, with nothing to entertain them. They would feel they are locked up in a closet. Although in the election day classes were not canceled, most of the students were not paying attention in the class. Almost all students were thinking of the elections during their classes. Election was the key to their patience. Only few students attended their classes.
Other differences are the communication between students and students' hostility. On regular days, there is less communication between students. Students walk in the university like strangers, no one knows the other. And, there is no hostility between students because, students hide their political views. On the other hand, during the election day, there was a lot of communication between students. Candidates, for example, tried to convince people to vote for them. And, students were hostile and adverse. Each student was supporting different parties for instance, even my close friends had different political views and they had to oppose each others.
There are certain similarities and differences between regular and election days in AUB. I think that the election day is important in any university because it joins the students together and entertains them every now and then. Any university can improve its reputation if it also had a well prepared and organized election day with students participating and standing for their beliefs.
Well, in your introduction, you say that the two types of days are "totally" different, but then go on to say there are similarities, which is contradictory. Also, you don't summarize any of the specific similarities and differences you plan to talk about in the body of the essay, which you should do to make the intro a roadmap for the reader. You should probably have at least three main points. Each of these points would then get fuller treatment in its own paragraph, giving you three body paragraphs. Then, in your conclusion, you would have a lot to summarize and draw together. That's the standard five-paragraph essay format, at any rate.
hi
I totally agree with your point but my instructor wanted me to include 3 differences and 2 similarities in a 5 paragraph essay .In this case i wont be able to fully treat each point. I included all this similarities and differences but still i feel that the essay is not organized. I really need help in my essay .
thanks a lot
Hmmmm . . . in that case, I'd use the similarities as part of the introduction, then summarize the three differences, and dedicate a paragraph to talking in depth about each one. In other words, "In some ways, an election day is just like a regular one. For instance, . . . . However, the two days do have some significant differences. [Insert List Here]"
Hi
Will my thesis statement get affected?? ...because the thesis statement provides clues for the topic sentences . and if i want to summarize the 3 differences in a paragraph and then talk again about them this means that the 3rds paragraph's topic sentence is somewhat the same as the 2nd's . in other words i have 3 paragraphs that should have 3 topic sentences so what should my thesis statement look like ?
thanks
Oh, man! I hate it when a prof sucks the life out of writing by giving such particular requirements!
Okay, in the intro paragraph, add a sentence at the end that says something general about the relationship of the two... something that will be shown through the compare and contrast process (thesis statement).
In paragrap 2, add an opening sentence that will tell the reader that this is about DIFFERENCES. In paragraph 3, I see that you already did a good job of introducing it as a paragraph about SIMILARITIES.
At the end, conclude with a paragraph that is a lot like the thesis statement -- elaborate on the relationship between the two as it is revealed through the similarities and differences you describe.
I hope that helps!!!!
hi
I tried to make some changes in my essay .Hope it is better now.i need to know if ir is better now and if it has mistakes .And i dont really know with my thesis statement is right or is lacking something.
thanks a lot
It is better than it was, certainly. You now sound more thoughtful, and have gone into more depth on the similarities and differences.
The introduction needs work, though. You can probably combine the first two sentences into one and come close to having a decent thesis statement. Then you would need to add more. A lead-in to hook the reader would be good, as would a brief summary of the similarities and differences at the end.
The second paragraph could probably be broken up into two, one on similarities, one on differences.
All three body paragraphs could also benefit from the inclusion of specific examples and anecdotes to demonstrate your general points.
Once you have done all of this, you should be ready to start focusing on grammar.
