Since the dawn of humanity, human beings have been engaged in great competition to find new knowledge. One of them is technology that can make effect on different aspects. Some people think that technology diminish creative of children, while the others ignore this idea, and think that technology can provide additional information for children. I personally believe that kids creative ability become less than before, because they less imagine and harder create.
To being with, everything creates by first imagination. In today's word, children have a great number of toy toward before, so less can create a new toys. In the other words, more things that they imagine existence around them, but in the past - our mother's epoch - they like to played or talked with one thing. In fact, on the one hand they imagined a doll, but on the other hand they did not have it. For this reason, they choose a pillow or something like a doll instead of that, and have fun with it. Although technology enhance level of children knowledge and gives children the chance to get information about world, it may prevent from imagination of them.
Another reason has to do with creation hardship by children. If we want to compare old children with modern children, we see that both of them have creative, but giving the idea in two times is different. More theories that were considered extraordinary in the past are simply and funny in state of the art world. With this in mind, my father said "when he was child, he and his friends did not have a toys for hobbies, so they invented a new game that called "tortory". They picked up a piece of wood and one wheel-wheel of bicycle-, then they were rolling wheel and were following it, they must controlled wheel with wood until the wheels were unbalanced and fell off". However, this game never consider as children creative in now world. Because technology develop and parents expect their children create a new thing that having match with modern technology rather than old technology. People expect their children if one kid present this game, all people snicker him/her, as well as never accept as a creative.
In conclusion, with all this taken into account, technology has both advantage and disadvantage for creativity of children, at the same time I think creating the something by children is more difficult now than past. Technology not only do increase exceptions from children but also reduce imagination of them.
I think First paragraph can be corrected as follow,
Since the dawn of humanity, human beings have been engaged in great competition to find new knowledge.(,) One of them(which) is technology that can make effect on different aspects. Some people think that technology diminish(reduces) creative (the creativity) of children, while (the) others ignore this idea, and think that technology can provide additional information for children. I personally believe that (kids') creative ability become less than before, because they less imagine (imagineless) and harder create.
Do you agree with me??
Its better if you can do a grammar check once with MS Word. There are few grammar mistakes - a new toys, Technology not only do increase
I think this essay could have used present tense instead of past tense as it talks about the present situation of the children.
kids creative ability - either there should be apostrophe or rewrite this as 'creative ability of kids'
imagination of them - their imagination
existence around them - exists around them
they like to played or talked - they like or play
have creative - have been creative
can avoid direct speech in essay - My father said
Same meaning, both words means less, I just wanna add (es) to the verb which is unfamiliar to me with diminish but I think you can use it, it is a matter of preference, regards