Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships that people make? Has this been a positive or negative development?
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It is true that newly-invented technologies have been changing the way we communicate. In my view, technology has affected people's relationship in various ways and the effects can be either positive or negative.
New technologies, especially in the fields of network and telecommunication, have considerable impacts on education industry, the way we collaborate and individual's social contact. Firstly, distance education provides accessibility of information no matter where we are. For example, online courses, such as TED and coursera, are capable to offer a cornucopia of lectures to satisfy one's curiosity about knowledge and information. Secondly, Skype and other office oriented software can deliver the feasibility for experts from different locations, or even countries, to brainstorm together and solve over-complicated problems. Finally, people tend to rely more on social network services than ever before to maintain personal relationships and make new friends.
On the one hand, the effects can be positive. Teleworking enables employees to communicate more efficiently to improve productivity. Moreover, online studying systems can provide the accessibility to well-organized courses for students from rural area and the quality of education can be guaranteed. On the other hand, I believe social network services, such has Facebook and twitter can also have negative consequences. For example, people tend to stay inside in their own rooms rather than talking to each other face to face. Social network is one of the main reasons for the reduction of outdoor activities. Also, online information is not always authentic. For example, some people may deliberately distribute fault information online in order to gain illegal profit.
In conclusion, new technologies certainly have had huge impacts on how we build connections and how we work together. However, the outcomes are not always good.
It is true that newly-invented technologies have been changing the way we communicate..have changed
Dear dumi,
thanks for your suggestions. Actually, the writing task asked two questions. The first is how does technology affect relationships. The seciond is positive or negative. I don't know how to exactly define the questions and give importance of the questions according to your suggestions. Could you explain it more plz? Thanks again!
eddies [Contributor]
25 / 1,208 
476 Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships that people make? Has this been a positive or negative development?
This essay has two questions to answer.
I feel this whole para is not well aligned with your topic. Your topic talks about how technology has affected people's interaction with each other. Talking about how technology has affected education industry is not really aligned with what your topic expects and it sounds rather you go out of topic. I think you need to focus more on talking about how technology has affected the way people interact with each other and present a comparison between the past and present.
Ok, you can adopt the same approach (dumi's suggestion for INTRO) here;
It is true that newly-invented technologies have been changing the way we communicate with each other.(hook)
They have also affected people's relationships in various ways resulting both positive and negative effects (background)
However, in my own opinion, I believe the negatives outweigh the positives of technological influence on human relationships. (thesis statement)
Hi Star sea
1) In intro paragraph you should state what points you will be discussing in the essay
State a thesis in your intro
2) The question asks about the effects of technology on relationships not on education therefore first paragraph seems to not answer the task response.
Thanks
Thank you dumi. I think I should focus more on the different between the present and the past. So that the 2nd para will not sound out ouf the topic too far.
