Unanswered [6] | Urgent [1]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4

Is Technology changing the world for better?


longwu 1 / -  
Mar 23, 2010   #1
It can be undoubtedly stated that without the progress of techonolgy,we will never be able to lead a live where the material is always sufficient.However,the variety and complexity of the thechnology create an unlimited possibility of changing the bad to the good,yet,the good to the bad.

Historically,the abuse of nuclear weapon contradict the idea that the world is changing for the better,as was seen in the world war two.To prevent potential counterattacks of the Japanese and end up the war instantly,the united states dropped Ą°little boyĄą on Hiroshima and Ą°Fat ManĄą on Nagasaki.Both successfully exploded.With the boom resounded in the land and the mushroom cloud floated above the red sky,the empire of Japan declared to give up instantaneously.However,the surrender would never shroud the perpetual loss of the lands and people. This bombing resulted in the immediate deaths of tens of thousands,combined with the destruction of the city.What is more,the survivals and their offsprings had to sufferd from radiation sickness which not only caused serious disfigurement and hygeian problems,but also the psychological trepidation.By comparison,any benefits from this military success can easily be neglected.

During the development of technology,the conscience of merchants is also greatly challenged.In November 2008,China was involved in one of the largest food safety incidents-milk scandal.When sixteen infants,having imbibed milk produced by Sanlu group,were diagnosed with kidney stones.It has been estimated nearly 300000 infants were poisoned,part of whom died from this contamination.As an increasing number of victims hospitalized,a research on components of the milk gradually came into light:Unlike the diluted milk which lacks nutrition,Sanlu milk turned out to contain Melamine,a lethal substance when in high quantity,which Sanlu added to milk so that the milk appeared to have a higher protein content.As a result,the head of Sanlu as well as several local government officials were fired or imprisoned,and that Sanlu bankrupted.However,this event causes a series of damages:the credit among Chinese consumers would be hard to retrieve, many countries stopped imports Chinese dairy products,the poor consumers have to pay the high price of imported brands.Above all,the harm to the innocent infants is impossible to heal.

These two miserable events warn us that technology is like The two edge of a sword :on the one hand,it Promote our felicity.On the other hand,it undermines our humanistic aspect.Only handle the technology in a proper way can we avoid doing harm to ourselves.

an SAT essay,thanks for your suggestions!

alina967 11 / 29  
Mar 23, 2010   #2
hygiene
three hundred thousands
can we avoid

can avoid us from

You have the examples about bad events, not good, and you also dont have explanation. You have the facts about that bad events but how the technology is involved in that events.

The other suggestion for essay would be why dont you write about good aspects of technology

like technology helps people to connect with their reltives, they can talk and see the person who is living far away from them.

The second one incident is really bad, it unbearble, how can the head of the sanula could do this?
What is the fault of that infants,they just came in our world. I never knew about this before reading your essay.
ronnie conner 1 / 1  
Mar 24, 2010   #3
I agree, it would be easier to write about the good aspects of technology. You have many sources---telephone, email, internet, to vehicles-airplanes, security cameras, and lets not forget entertainment devices IPOD WiFi internet WII I am sorry your essay wasn't interesting at all.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
Mar 24, 2010   #4
to lead a live where we know when we have a sufficient amount of material comforts. material is always sufficient . However,the variety and complexity of the technology create an unlimited possibilities of changing the bad to the good -- though it can also change the good to the bad.

Use capital letters:
was seen in the World War Two.

By comparison,any benefits from this military success can easily be neglected.
--- this sentence is not clear. Will you try to write it again with different words? If you explain what you mean, maybe we can help.

:-)


Home / Writing Feedback / Is Technology changing the world for better?