As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate.
In my opinion the advancement of technology and the continuous use of it has helped the mankind in minimizing the traditional and the repetitive work.That doesn't mean that technology has deteriorated the thinking capacity of the human, in turn it has opened a new world having different kind of unique problem which requires human thinking.
It is not wrong to say that we rely more on calculators for solving problems than doing it our selves or instead of finding the parking places at the shopping malls ,doing online shopping is more feasible.But who has developed the technology and how it has been developed.Technology is our brain child it is us because of whom we are so much technologically advanced.So if our thinking capacity has been deteriorate than how is it advancing.We humans are not satisfied with what we have , for example initially for simple calculation we used to use calculator but eventually calculator was developed adding more feature to solve the complex mathematical problem.this process of advancement needs a continuous thinking process.
One more point to prove that human thinking is not deteriorating cause of technology as because of the use of the advanced technology many new problems has arisen which requires a more innovative thinking rather than the traditional stereotypical one.For example innovation of one drug can cure a disease but this drug can have side effects for the other organs as wells.So typically the doctors has to think for the both the pros and the cons of the drug.All these new problems never existed before the development of these new technologies and they require far more thinking than the old problems.
In conclusion, while technology frees humans from the traditional laborious work, eliminating the necessity of thinking for the stereotyped problems, yet technology meanwhile brings forth new types of problems which are more intellectually intense and even unprecedented. Humans' mind has been working on all kinds of problems throughout the history to keep up with pace of our world change. With the development of technology, old problems might become obsolete but new problems with more challenges will never stop appearing, ensuring the opportunity for humans' mind to explore and develop to higher state and securing the brains' role of thinking from deteriorating.
Hi,
You have not mentioned the purpose of this writing, e.g. IELTS, TOEFL etc., however, your essays fits in better in the WRITING FEEDBACK forum. You have opened it in the Undergraduate forum and I transferred it to Writing Feedback. Pleas select the most appropriate forum when you open a new thread.
Also, it is better you mention the purpose in the title itself so that we can provide you with more meaningful feedbacks :)
we used to use calculator but eventually calculator developed adding more features
I think itz better to write
we used calculator but eventually calculator had advanced and added more features to solve complex mathematical problems.
instead of one more point , use another
sentance construction in the 2nd paragraph is wrong.
an8ther point to think that human thi king is not detrioated due to use of technologies is that use of advanced technology had risen many new problems which requires more iinovative thinking than the traditional ones.
essay well said.. good work
It is not wrong to say that we rely more on calculators for solvingproblemsperforming basic arithmetic calculations than doing it our selves. or instead of finding the parking places at the shopping malls ,doing online shopping is more feasibleFurther, online shopping is more efficient and cost effective than doing shopping physically.
You need to first tell the reason and then support that reason with specific examples;
First, people get benefited by higher efficiency levels of modern technological devices. For example,a calculate is much faster than accurate in performing basic mathematical calculations than a human brain.
Hi Kanchan
it is a good essay
I agree with Dumi . This essay lacks bit of structure . It should have 4 paragraphs and you should state thesis in intro paragraph.
And according to me this sentence is not grammatically correct
So if our thinking capacity has been deteriorate than how is it advancing - It should be is deteriorated instead of has been deteriorate
Thanks
