Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4


Technology as A Supplement in Education


abdasyari93 9 / 19  
Sep 15, 2016   #1
The growth of technology has significant impact in several parts of human's lives to maximize their merits. In this case, I want to highlight related to application of technology in educational sector. It is commonly known that a number of employees at the school should utilize technology to support their occupation. Although technology cannot replace teacher's jobs, it has some benefits in education world. Consequently, technology should be applied in educational institutions due to the fact that it makes the learning process more interesting, is possible for students to study everywhere, and engages students to perform powerfully.

First, in digital era, technology makes lessons much more attractive for students so it will help teacher to deliver his subject easier. Another reason why technology should be maximized is that it has flexible value for students to study at their own place. They are able to learn whenever and wherever for getting comprehensive access. Finally, even though technology cannot substitute teacher's position, it has essential role to persuade students in learning process effectively.

In short, the development of technology has a lot of advantages in education. Both technology and education are the perfect combination to support learning process in educational institutions. However, technology should be enhanced in traditional teaching wisely.
fadhilmd25 41 / 75 11  
Sep 15, 2016   #2
Dear Abdasyari, here are some advices for your essay,

several parts of human's--> instead of saying several parts, we can say several aspects of

I want to highlight related to application of ... --> in my opinion, it is better to make it passive like, in my opinion, the application of technology in educational sector should be highlighted
Rinnegan45 - / 39 5  
Sep 16, 2016   #3
yo!
got some issues found on your essay, hope it could help and improve yours.

The growth of technology has a significant impact / impacts (you seem fail to mention how many "impact" that you would explain there)

a number of employees at the school

... teacher's jobs, it has some "other" benefits in education world. (because it is not able to replace teacher's work then it might have other functions for different purpose)

powerfull

... more attractive for students, so it will help teacher to ... (never forget to put comma when you start a Dependent Clause with "SO")

Regards
andika08 81 / 80 16  
Sep 16, 2016   #4
Hello
You have a good summary
I have some corrections

... more attractive for students so it will behelping teacher to delivered his subject easier.
Finally, even though technology cannot substitute ...
... the perfect combination to support to learning process ...

You can added similar words and used conjuction efectively.


Home / Writing Feedback / Technology as A Supplement in Education
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳