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Could technology help developing educational system? Kindly help me to answer this!


humangun 2 / 2 1  
Apr 23, 2015   #1
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? With help of technology, students nowadays can learn more information and learn it more quickly. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answers

Human civilization has shapely evolved. One of the most significant driving factors is technology. Though sometimes, the technology could lead the learners to a wrong direction, it still plays an important role in the every aspect of life; especially for developing educational system. For me, I agree with the writer on help of technology because not only should it provide a quick access to the required information, but also it can connect users to the entire world with less effort compared to the past. Let me lay down my reasons

First of all, technology allows students to have a quick access to their required information or sometimes to have a hand-on experience. For example, in the past, it takes many days to travel across the country to have a site visit on a historical structure, but since the transportation technology have been developed; people can travel easier and experienced some things that have not recorded in the book.

In addition, technology connects the learners to a huge archive of information through a global network called internet. Definitely, having internet installed is rewarding as the internet allows the users to surf all kind of information by using just their fingers. At this point, they can get into a huge archive of information as opposed to the ones who use just only book will take more time to get their stuffs

All in all, technology has played an important part of human life such as education. It can provide both quick access and large information resources to the learners. However, the learners should be aware that some information is just a fake, so searching for your required information along your consideration is recommended.
lcturn87 - / 435 236  
Apr 23, 2015   #2
I wouldn't use shapely. What happens when learners go in the wrong direction? Do they become distracted by technology? Delete the before aspects of life. Instead of educational system you could say educational curriculum. Sometimes technology is used to teach math or science and for other subjects. It's apart of their learning experience. I'm unsure why a writer is mentioned because I'm unsure what source this question comes from. However, I think you don't have to mention the writer. You could simplify much of this information. For example: Personally, I think technology helps students to quickly access information for research reports. If you simplify your sentence in this way, you can avoid errors and it is a way to state how you feel about this question. I'm giving you this example to help you to think about how you can change this sentence. The ending of the sentence, "compared to the past" can be deleted. You can delete lay down my reasons.

You repeat the sentence again when you mention required information. Would you like to say that technology allows students to have hands-on experience? This is a great example about technology! I just need you to stay in the past. Change takes to took. Also, site visit can be confusing. Did you mean they travel to visit the site of a historical structure? Also, did you mean that people can have experiences that have not been recorded in a textbook?

In this next paragraph, use the before internet. In the second sentence, change the word kind to kinds. I think you mean at the click of a mouse. You don't have to use this, because you could end the sentence with the word "information". Choose how you would like to end this sentence. You can make this last sentence simpler. I would say "access a huge archive of information in less time" instead of get into. Using the word opposed is good but you can state those who only use a book. The other information in this sentence is too confusing. The sentence is really good without it.

Another way to say all in all is, "Overall". Change large information to many. I'm not sure what this last sentence means. Are you referring to reliable sources? For example, there are many websites but when doing research certain sites maybe used because experts comment about a topic they know well. Please make sure this is revised. Good work!


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