Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 3

Technology has helped us to have a more convenient life." Discuss

vynguyn 2 / 2  
Mar 29, 2017   #1

technology gives as a comfort

Without doubt, that our life become more convenient is to depend on information technology. In some extent, I agree that the contribution of technology makes improve the quality of life. However, I also believe that technology brings us some dangers.

On the one hand, technology have a positive influence on society. They make a contact with people become simple more than ever. Doing household chores doesn't make women, wives feel drained anymore because of the support of cutting - edge household appliances. Especially education, people apply new gadgets or create studying programs to make lessons more interesting, easier to remember and study. Thanks to them, students can acquire knowledge and use it in concrete situations.

On the other hand, we cannot turn a deaf ear to potential problems. Firstly, because of the convenience of high technology, people have intention of being lazy, dependent on advanced tools and even isolated with outside. They may become inactive when they do their business, because they think that Internet can give them all information they need without having practical experiences. Besides, if people don't know how to use the state - of - the - art devices clearly, it will make a fire, destroy their assets or even lose their lives.

In conclusion, the main function of technology is to provide human with comforts. Meanwhile, people must have enough knowledge to use and spend time reasonably on it. Only by doing so can we make a full positive of technology and alleviate its negatives.

Anhy chan 12 / 23 1  
Mar 29, 2017   #2
Halo @vynguyn
Your introduction seem hard to follow since you reveal it in ineffective way. Moreover, there are too many linking word "that" which influence on your cohesive and coherence. Furthermore, you have to be careful on word choosen. For example in the first paragraph, you may say that "technology also brings some drawbacks". Oh ya, pay attention on your subject verb agreement.
Holt [Contributor] - / 8,840 2632  
Mar 30, 2017   #3
Vy, you make some pretty valid discussion points in your essay. Just one point for correction though. In an academic testing essay such as this one, it is always best if you give a general description or discussion, without concentrating on a particular gender. That is because these days, the genders all experience the same problems regardless of whether technology exists or not because people in general, live in an almost uniform manner due to the existence of technology. So in instances when your information applies to all genders, be vague. Your score will be higher. In your conclusion, I do not approve of you adding information that you were not properly able to build up and explain further. It left me wondering what else you could have said to further convince me that your opinion on the topic is the right one to side with.

Home / Writing Feedback / Technology has helped us to have a more convenient life." Discuss