Coincident with most people's notion is my heartfelt belief that technology has made children more creative than they were in the past.With the development of fast-changing society.technology has permeated every corner and every minute of our daily life.It is a common phenomenon that people are more or less depend on the technology.My reasons for opposing the decline of creativeness of children due to technology are as follows.
Well, it seems ok, but you failed to give the FULL defenition of the question! Secondly, where is the clear thesis statement?
"My reasons for opposing the decline of creativeness of children due to technology are as follows." - for me it adds no value :(
Thirdly, try to give more catchy and meaningful HOOK, because introduction is the part that reader remembers best.
In the first place,with the technology improve to a higher level ,children
- It is too confused and unclear :(
All in all,though technology also play a negative role in physically physical and psychologically psychological health of children.
All in all,though technology also play a negative role in physically and psychologically health of children.For example,it seems that children waste too much time playing video games ,which do harm to their eyes and make them lack real life interaction with others.However,these disadvantages could be ignored when its advantages are taken into consideration.Thus,as long as we keep a balanced mood in children's mind, they are sure to contribute more to innovation than in the past.
From my point of view, it is not so strong conclusion, because as
tiaDS mentioned you must never give any new information in this part of your essay. Because this part is for summarizing all the points you have given!
Hope this helps)