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TOEFL: Technology impact on children's creativity.


Vince1992 1 / -  
Apr 26, 2014   #1
Agree or disagree?Technology has made children less creative than they were in the past.

Coincident with most people's notion is my heartfelt belief that technology has made children more creative than they were in the past.With the development of fast-changing society.technology has permeated every corner and every minute of our daily life.It is a common phenomenon that people are more or less depend on the technology.My reasons for opposing the decline of creativeness of children due to technology are as follows.

In the first place,with the technology improve to a higher level,children are able to get access to a variety of scientific and liberal art resources more easily which are the best sources of inspiration.For example, with the advent of Internet,children nowadays have the opportunity to surf the huge sea of information.All they need is to switch on the Ipad ,search the key word by searching engine and everything else would open itself up to them.The abundant information resources are essentially helpful to evoke their curiosity and prepare them with necessary knowledge for further creativity.On the contrary,in the past year,as the absence of technology such as Internet,students could only grasp limited information from libraries or schools.In this aspect, the advancement of technology enable children's ability to gain more information for creativity.

Furthermore,Creativity is often sparked by the collision of ideas from different disciplines and cultures.The presence of online chat such as facetime and MSN allow children to exchange their ideas,causing the brainstorming which is a perfect way to creativeness.Take my little brother's experience for example.when he does not know how to write the essay assigned by his teacher,he would set up a chatting group in the online chatting room.Those who are interested in his topic will participate to discuss and exchange their own ideas. And during the discussion the inspirations would come into his mind somewhen.However, without the presence of advanced technology,children in the past could just exchange ideas with people around them like parents, teachers and classmate,not to mention the people from other cities or countries.Thus,technology plays an essential role in creativeness by allowing them to exchange ideas.

All in all,though technology also play a negative role in physically and psychologically health of children.For example,it seems that children waste too much time playing video games ,which do harm to their eyes and make them lack real life interaction with others.However,these disadvantages could be ignored when its advantages are taken into consideration.Thus,as long as we keep a balanced mood in children's mind, they are sure to contribute more to innovation than in the past.

eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,195 459  
Apr 26, 2014   #2
.For example,it seems that children waste too much time playing video games ,which do harm to their eyes and make them lack real life interaction with others.

Conclusions are often the most difficult part of an essay to write, and many writers feel that they have nothing left to say after having written the paper. Remember, a clear and precise point of view also comes from a good concluding paragraph. You don't need to write details
trangphamthuy91 - / 1  
Apr 27, 2014   #3
Take my little brother's experience for example. When he does not know how to write the essay assigned by his teacher, he would set up a chatting group in the online chatting room where those who are interested in his topic could participate to share their ideas, and during the discussions the inspirations would come into his mind. On the contrary, in the past, without the presence of advanced technology,children could just exchange ideas with people around them like parents, teachers and classmates. Thus, technology plays an essential role in stimulating children's creativity by allowing them to exchange ideas without any barriers
tiaDS 73 / 235 52  
Apr 29, 2014   #4
All in all,though technology also play a negative role in physically and psychologically health of children.For example,it seems that children waste too much time playing video games ,which do harm to their eyes and make them lack real life interaction with others.However,these disadvantages could be ignored when its advantages are taken into consideration.Thus,as long as we keep a balanced mood in children's mind, they are sure to contribute more to innovation than in the past.

In the conclusion is rare to give detail information. In this part you should show the summary of the evidence based on the case of your essay or you can restatement of the thesis.
Abdurasul 32 / 86 4  
Apr 29, 2014   #5
Coincident with most people's notion is my heartfelt belief that technology has made children more creative than they were in the past.With the development of fast-changing society.technology has permeated every corner and every minute of our daily life.It is a common phenomenon that people are more or less depend on the technology.My reasons for opposing the decline of creativeness of children due to technology are as follows.

Well, it seems ok, but you failed to give the FULL defenition of the question! Secondly, where is the clear thesis statement?

"My reasons for opposing the decline of creativeness of children due to technology are as follows." - for me it adds no value :(

Thirdly, try to give more catchy and meaningful HOOK, because introduction is the part that reader remembers best.

In the first place,with the technology improve to a higher level ,children

- It is too confused and unclear :(

All in all,though technology also play a negative role in physically physical and psychologically psychological health of children.

All in all,though technology also play a negative role in physically and psychologically health of children.For example,it seems that children waste too much time playing video games ,which do harm to their eyes and make them lack real life interaction with others.However,these disadvantages could be ignored when its advantages are taken into consideration.Thus,as long as we keep a balanced mood in children's mind, they are sure to contribute more to innovation than in the past.

From my point of view, it is not so strong conclusion, because as tiaDS mentioned you must never give any new information in this part of your essay. Because this part is for summarizing all the points you have given!

Hope this helps)
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,195 459  
Apr 29, 2014   #6
My reasons for opposing the decline of creativeness of children due to technology are as follows.

I would claim that technology has affected the decline of creativeness of children

Those who are interested in his topic

Faulty Pronoun Reference
Those = them
He = his


technology also playS

Subject-verb agreement
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
May 3, 2014   #7
Yes, your essay looks pretty lengthy and you need to worry about that if you were not able to complete the task within the allocated time. This approach is a very efficient one which helps you earn a very good score as it contains all important features that get you a good score :) Not only that, this approach is very focused and therefore you do not waste time on paragraphs. This is a very efficient approach in terms of time management :)


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