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'technology does not kill the tradition'


ibadullah 2 / 7 1  
Nov 5, 2012   #1
i am writing about this topic to check my writing skills. i appeal to any moderator to please check it i will be very thankful to you.

Plz check it and take out the mistakes i will be very thankful to you. the essay statement is given below
Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer
nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for
helping the poorer nations in such areas.


yes i agree with this statement that richer countries should help the underdeveloping countries in the field of health, education and trade. Contemporary these fields play a substantial role that no one can survive without these. Health is the major factor in poor countries which need to be considered for example the health factor in south africa is so much worse that they cannot overcome this without the help of richer countries. The most epidemic disease is the AID in this country which can be prevent if the richer countries provides the medicines, nurses and docttors free and every other amenities without any incentives.

Education also plays an important role in the development of every nation. The poor countries which are not good in this field should be supported by richer countries for example now a days so many countries are offeering the free masters programme for students of underdeveloped countries but the main problem is that it should not restricted to the masters level because there are some countries which could not give education to the college level and even to the primary level so the government of richer countries should provision them free used books. There is also one possibility that the richer countries can also give the pirated coppies to these such poor countries

Trade also plays an important role in the ecnomic development of every country. The countries which are not good in this field must be supported by richer countries. This can only be done when some of the taxes are raised off for the poor countries for a given period of time and when they thrive then you can take the taxes on the mainly basis. The second option to overcome this problem is to give the subsidy without any incentives or interest. The world bank should give the subsidy to poor countries without any interest. By doing this there is no pressure of debt on the poor countries and they flourish effectively. The sbsidy given to these countries should not for the prolonged time because by doing this the countries will become used to with it. There is must an agreement .

In conclusion i must say that richer countries should help the poor countries in such fields for their evolution

Best Regard:
Ibadullah Safdar

Jennyflower81 - / 690 96  
Nov 5, 2012   #2
Yes, I think you did a good job, but it could be better. I hope the grammar suggestions help. You write in a "wordy" manner which means extended sentences with lots of ideas and word packed in. Try to write more simply, clear concise and straightforward. I would suggest that you give 3 examples to support your argument that technology does not make traditions die out. You explain Christmas and baseball, choose one more thing that people will continue to do no matter how technology changes. I thought that cooking would be a good example, because many people keep the traditional meals from generation to generation without the need of technology. Nice work so far, if you revise this, feel free to post it in this thread and I will edit it for you :)
OP ibadullah 2 / 7 1  
Nov 6, 2012   #3
Dear Jennyflower81:
Thankyou for your kind suggestion. I am preparing for the IELT's test and in the writing section they asked to write atleast 250 words for the topic so kindly tell me what should i do. Once again thanks for your generous support.

Best Regard:
Ibadullah Safdar
Jennyflower81 - / 690 96  
Nov 11, 2012   #4
yes i agree with this statement thatWealthy countries should help theunderdeveloped countries in the fields of health, education and trade. Currently, these fields play an essential role that no one can survive without thesein the preservation of society .

Health is the major factor in poor countries which need to be considered for example the health factor in south africa is so much worse that they cannot overcome this without the help of richer countries.


You may want to say: "Without the help of richer countries, poor countries such as South Africa would be unable to help sick people."

The most epidemic disease in that country is theAIDs,in this country which can be prevented if the richer countries could provide the medicine, nurses and doctorsto care for people.free and every other amenities without any incentives.

Trade also plays an important role in theeconomic development of every country. The countries which are not good in this fieldwith bad economies must be supported by richer countries.
OP ibadullah 2 / 7 1  
Nov 11, 2012   #5
Dear Jenniflower81:
Thamk you so much for your kind response. The line which you ,emtion i meaqn to say that the richer countries should provide them the photocopies of that books.

Jenni i also write the essay about the 'museum' plz check it also if you have some time i will be very thankful to you once again thankyou for giving me your precious time. tell me about the people in america did they allright and also you because last week i heared the news of flood.

Best Regard:
Ibadullah Safdar
huybinh111 2 / 3 1  
Nov 13, 2012   #6
I think when we want to say about our ideas, we should have a open thinking. My mean is in many aspect of the problem. Firstly, we should think about why other people say the technology makes the traditional skills fade (such as in traffic, in communicate, in entertainment, in education, in services...) . Secondly, we should list the major reasons to explain your ideas, which have affected to most of people to get their agreement.
OP ibadullah 2 / 7 1  
Mar 18, 2013   #7
Dear Jenny,
its a longg time ago that i talk you about the IELTS so i passed the IELTS test and achieving a band score of 6 out of 9. Could you give me a favour. Please read these art
OP ibadullah 2 / 7 1  
Mar 18, 2013   #8
Dear Jenny,
its a longg time ago that i talk you about the preperation of IELTS so i passed the IELTS test and achieving a band score of 6 out of 9. Could you give me a favour. Please read these articles and pin out the grammer mistakes. i will be very thankful to you if you give me time to read my aricles and also please give me feed back.

unforgettablelifemoments.blogspot.com/2013/03/that-cold-night.html

That cold night is based on a true story of a family in pakistan. The story revolves around this family and a driver whom they met when they were returning home from a picnic trip. What happened with this family and how they spend the whole night in a totally new place and whom they trust is trust worthy or not. TThis incidence occurred in 2004 with a family which lived in Rawalpindi. This is a true story and is based on disembodied spirits that somehow dominate over human bodies and also make trouble for humans. here is the full story see the blog for interesting and true stories all new ones.

A mysterious man
A mysterious old man This story happened about 11 years back and is about a mysterious man, an old man who can trap anyone with his mystic words. He uses such magical words that everyone can beleive him of what he is saying. He is an expert in fooling others. This story is also real and true and involves a young boy which could not escape from the voice of this old man. these all stories are written just to let you know what can happen in this so called world. What is happening with people around us and how selfish and bad people are in this world. These all stories are shared with you to make you aware of the various circumstances. These true stories are because to take advice in life from their experiences.

Read the sad story really sad and what happened to that young boy.

unforgettablelifemoments.blogspot.com/2013/03/a-mysterious-old-man.html

Mother is a gift of God and everyone should take care of his or her mother. Whenever something happens to you how much sweetly she cares and asks us about the problem we are having. So this gift need also our attention and care. she could also have problems and she can also get tired of all the work. We all should take care of our mothers. This true story is about a loving and caring mother who when comes to caring also forgets about herself.

how much she cares about her family and what she can do when it comes to care. A real story based on a family living in Pakistan read yourself at

unforgettablelifemoments.blogspot.com/2013/03/an-unforgettable-mother.html

A Widow Village Woman">This story occurred before the seperation of Pak-o-Hind. This story is about a woman named marium who after her husband death struggle hard to brought up her child. she was alone in the world with no help from her family and she know about it. So she worked hard instead of looking forward to her family for support. She wants to marry her daughter to a person which is kind and well earner so that her daughter could not suffer later but she faced many hurdles in the way to her marriage. But who helped her on her way and who helped her in arranging her daughter marriage. Read it and plz comment if you like. These stories are based on real incidents.

unforgettablelifemoments.blogspot.com/2013/03/mariums-story-widow-village-woman-this.html

Regards
Ibadullah Safdar


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