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Technology has made people even more anti-social. Do you agree?

ambrosia 1 / -  
Jan 15, 2016   #1
Is the technology, making human's life easier or making them more anti-social? Today use of technology is widely available. However technology makes our life easier, it also creates problems for the society. Nowadays, for everything we have a technology available for example we can do slicing, peeling fruits and vegetables easily with the technology.

There is no doubt that technology is making our life easier and comfortable. We are leading a luxurious lifestyle with help of technology but many things comes with a price. So many companies should think about the consequences before releasing a new technology in the market. For example with the help of smartphones are life has become quite easy, it has all the software's like GPS, news reader so we can keep our self always updates but this has come with a side effect of our heath and a scarifies of social life with family and friends.

Nowadays, kids spend most of their time on phone playing games or there are on internet watching videos. Due to this, they have stopped going out and doing physical activities, they hardly have any friends and they no more look forward to complete their work and go out, similarly parents have stopped spending time with their kids, most of time they are either on their phones or on their laptop.

In nutshell, I would like to state that we should not get fully dependent on the technology rather we should use it as a weapon to learn and save time and should try to spend as much time as possible with the family and friends and involve ourselves in outdoor activities so that we can take care of our heath as well.

vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Jan 15, 2016   #2
Neha, first and foremost, you cannot open an introductory statement with a question. That does not even pass a restated prompt because a prompt, when properly rephrased, should be addressed in the paragraph as a statement of fact rather than as a question.. So you have to revise that part of the introduction immediately.

You have failed to properly address a response to the prompt because the prompt is asking if you believe that technology has made people antisocial. Instead, you offer up a discussion as to how technology and the existence of gadgets that can be used for everyday practical activities such as slicing, and peeling fruits and vegetables, have made life easier. Where does the anti-social aspect of the discussion fit in that statement of yours? Right off the bat you have managed to fail at the test. The score you would get on this will definitely be 2because you did not discuss the right topic in the essay.

While you managed to somehow veer towards a more related discussion towards the end, it was too late for your essay. An actual examiner will not even read that far because you already failed in the first 2, most important aspects of the essay. That is too bad because your later response was actually somewhat on the mark and could have probably been given passing consideration.

The format of your essay is all wrong. There is no clear introduction or restated prompt, all of the topics are discussed as one paragraph when the requirement is at least 3 paragraphs of 3 sentences minimum each. Overall, this essay would be in serious danger of getting the lowest marks possible in the actual test. The problem of this essay is so bad that there is no point in even trying to correct the grammatical errors in it.
wahyutri13 10 / 13  
Feb 8, 2016   #3
Hello Neha,
the question is ask your opinion regarding agree and disagree, I cannot see your position is your opinion attempt to agree or disagree. You should declare clearly what is your position opinion. Then, you can make a balance your paragraph. For example, if you are stand in agree, may you can start one or more opinion that debate then in the next paragraph you describes why you agree about your opinion. So, the reader can see clearly the main reason

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