TECHNOLOGY; PROBLEM AFFECTING MY COMMUNITY

HURRY !! DEADLINE is so soon HELLO GUYS just need a little help for this question :) SHORT ESSAY #1 (NO MORE THAN 500 WORDS)
Write about a problem currently affecting your community. If it were within your abilities, how would you work to solve this problem?
my answer is :

by the looking our life there are many problem to talk about but we are always chose the one that affected on us.
Technology is a huge part of our daily life nowadays. However, there are lots of different types of technology and each has its own benefits and features ,Technology is the problem that affected round the world and our community too , technology being a part of modern life is a controversial one. Some feel that the contribution of technology has made a positive impact in modern life and that technology helps improve the quality of life. Others see that contribution of technology has negatively impacted modern life and that technology is a force that has escaped from human control. modern technology makes our life more convenient. It has advantages and disadvantages but there are much more advantages. It is up to us to know what are our expectations of life, what kind of people we want to be and what kind of lives we want to live but unfortunately development of modern technology carries with it some downsides. People are getting more estranged. Families do not communicate as much as they should and do not have time for their children . Lot of people spend too much time on Internet, playing games, watching television, sending messages. They are not spending time with each other and that cause to create uncerful community and losing warm . realashinship , is not common anymore to see children playing outside, in front of their houses or at playgrounds. They are spending most of their free time on Internet and that will get much worse and our future generation will be less active and get out of socialization and love circle , and they cant not depend on their selves and enjoy the life they are in and that will badly affect on their health .if we use it carefuly it can not take place of traditional skills and ways of life totally however for every thing that we want to change or get better we have to start on ourself We just have to try to find a way to make the balance between technology an human interaction... ? by what we can make a balance .. :)

There are 3 points you should consider from the prompt above.


----------> What kind of Technology do you mean here? . I think it is not too clear.


--------> The question does't ask you about the advantages. What I mean here is you don't have to compare the advantages and disadvantages


--------> Too many problems you mention out there. You'd better stick one problem, then discuss how YOU work to SOLVE. It is the one that the prompts wants you to answer.

Thanks.

... I don't understand why you included this sentence here :( Is it a part of your answer?


These lines sound very contradictory to one another. It's very difficult to understand the purpose of your writing. Is this a part of your college application?

thanks alot Eddies but that is my first time i am writting esaay , and for your answer i mean Internet TECHNOLOGY and don't know how to solve .. tomorrow is dead line if u can answer me thank you.. what should i do with that esaay?

thanxx dubi ..that is not for my college i just need some help from u to aware me how should i write this essay to answer my question

Well, your question asks you to write about a problem that affects your community. So, you need to talk about a specific problem and then tell how it affects your community and what you could do about it. What you have written above is not so focused. If it is about technology, then you need to specifically say how technology has become a problem for you. What aspect of technology had become a problem for your community? Has it distanced people from one another? Has it destroyed family life? Has it got people less active and physically unfit?.... Tell them your problem!