I have to say, I love your essay! Very well written, rich vocab, clearly organized! Here are just minor mistakes:
On the other hand, technologies may sometimes be
have more of a hindrance than a help for workers in regular communication with colleague. The internet, for instance, needs large network ing such as towers and fiber optic to transmit the data. In the obvious fact, Indonesia where does not have enough complex technology ( is this technology or technological ? ) infrastructure is not lending an access for businessman/woman to integrate intowith the team in the different areas . Second problem is technologies cannot change employ's figure to discuss and deal with stakeholder for win-win solution. It can be seen in dept that technologies have a gap for several duties.
Er can you explain "employ's figure" for me? I don't know what it means :) And by the way, can you tell me where you grab those useful examples :-? I really don't know where to find ones when writting essays :) I really love how you use them.
Maybe the conclusion is a bit short? You should include how it helps workers work from home:
Obviously, working at home supplies efficiency and flexibility.
and why many tasks can't be done:
Hope this will help :)