TECHNOLOGY AND TRADITIONAL CULTURES. AGREE OR DISAGREE

It is inevitable that traditional cultures will be lost as technology develops. Technology and traditional cultures are incompatible.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

It is argued that there will be a loss of traditional cultures because of technology developments. Technology is not able to get along with traditional cultures. I personally agree with this statement because the convenient aids of technology and its modern definitions of problems can deter traditional beliefs.

On the one hand, communication culture recently has been aided with the convenience of the new technology. In recent years, people have had more opportunities to communicate with others through Internet. This is because there is neither distance boundary nor time-consuming wait. For instance, an email is immediately sent and received by a person which the writer aims to, without concerns about how far-reaching distance of the receiver is or whether the receiver can read this email or not. By this way, it is obvious that writing letters, which is a common way of communication to others as traditional culture, has become an inconvenient way of sending messages to others who are in far-reaching places.

Moreover, there are various contemporary notions of the world contrast to traditional beliefs. With the development of various open-mind lectures on social networking sites, marriage culture is gradually considered as an independent choice of each person, which is not accepted by the traditional marriage culture in the past, parents depend on every aspect of life of their offspring. Furthermore, in recent years, human being have been more open-minded about LGBT phenomenon by some gender campaigns produced on Internet. As a case in point, two girls or two boys can get married with each other under the acknowledgement of some developed nations, they are even received numerous blesses from people around the world by updating their marriage videos on Youtube. As a result, the disappearance of traditional cultures is inevitable as if they are still upheld by any old-fashioned mind, this person will probably be left behind the development of society.

To conclude, I personally agree with the statement that traditional cultures will be disappeared by the virtue of technology develops because the appearance of many modern notions and the convenience that technology has brought to civilization.

Dear mentor, can you give which band of my writing is? (in IELTS criteria) Thanks in advance. I really appreciate

The prompt restatement is acceptable, along with the thesis statement. However, the question response is not within the expected format. This is not a mere agree or disagree essay. This is a measured response + opinion statement. So, one cannot merely "personally agree" with the statement. The writer's opinion must indicate to what degree he agrees (fully, totally, extremely) in order to establish the strong opinion response the writing needs to score well.

There is no comparison being made in the discussion since the writer cohesively discusses his opinion based on sound reasoning. A reference to "On the one hand" is unnecessary of there is no "On the other hand" comparative discussion present. Do not mix up the cohesive transition devices in the presentation. It creates a confusing presentation format and shows an unfamiliarity with the discussion requirements / formats based on various task directions.

The same sex marriage example is incorrect as that is not a technology related discussion. A more appropriate technology based example would have been brick and mortar (traditional) banking as opposed to online (digital) banking and why traditional banking is no longer relevant in todays world.

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