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IELTS Task 2 Technology and traditional cultures are incompatible - the loss of cultural norms

RomanKoch 10 / 22 9  
May 9, 2020   #1
It is inevitable that traditional cultures will be lost as technology develops. Technology and traditional cultures are incompatible.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Development of technology makes some people believe that separate cultures will soon become extinct. This development leads to globalization and traditional cultures will disappear. This essay will reveal why I mostly disagree with this fear as it is in human nature to be different and to belong to a certain group so those cultures will survive.

Technology jeopardizes the existence of unique cultures. When going online people have many options to choose from. This is a threat to a local culture as people lean towards the most popular and trending things in the media, and replace local attributes with universal. Also, the world is so connected that it resembles a mixing pot that can result in one uniformed international society. This is happening right now as the globally used English language is considered an international by many and is even replacing some local languages as the official in several countries.

However, local cultural and national bonds are stronger than technology. It is in the human nature to belong to a certain group that shares similar values. The expansion of technology and foreign influence triggers a defensive response in these groups and they start to protect their own by cherishing their culture. Moreover, individuals like to be different so while the advancing globalization is stripping separate unique nations of their individual features, it only boosts local interest and support of their own attributes that make them unique. For example, Indians are often proud to wear sarees when abroad, Italians cook tomatoes only in their own way and Chinese would tell their foreign friends how great and different their cuisine is.

In conclusion, communication technology is considered a threat to traditional cultures. However, I rather disagree that it can make these cultures disappear as human desire for individualism and group bonding will prevail.

akmal16 1 / 3 1  
May 9, 2020   #2
I think you should develop the idea more clearly and avoid filler sentences. In paragraph one you mentioned that you disagree with the view, but contradict this in paragraph two by asserting that technology jeopardize cultures but made no convincing reason why this is so.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,340 3360  
May 9, 2020   #3
You did not properly rephrase the prompt. You must make sure that you do not offer too much of your personal opinion, nor change the prompt discussion specifications in your paraphrase. Always outline your work first to make sure you stay on track. You tend to not understand the prompt statements so you need to be careful and analyze the topic and discussion instruction first. Perhaps, instead of doing the task 2 practice tests, you should first be asking for instructions regarding how to discuss essay types. That is your weakest point and that is the reason your essays will not score well. You should be asking for advise about how to approach essay topics first. That way you can familiarize yourself with the process first and learn to write the essay second.

You should also be learning how to use synonyms to replace keywords in the essay so that you can improve your LR score. You cannot use the same words from the original prompt because that is considered cut and paste writing by the examiner, which means you do not have a wide English vocabulary so it will drag your LR score down.

Proper paraphrase:

There is a common belief developing these days that advanced systems will eventually cause the loss of long established cultural norms. This is based on the idea that technological progress and historical ways of life cannot adapt to one another. I fully disagree with this idea due to the nature of man that dictates a sense of belonging, based on real world and real time social norms, in order to survive.

You need to get out of the comparative discussion mindset. The extent essays are never comparative discussions. You cannot offer a coherent and cohesive supporting statement regarding your stated opinion if you insist on delivering a 2 POV essay. That is why your essay lacks connected paragraph developments. That is why your essays are under explained and with little supporting evidence. You can only have a proper explanation and enough supporting evidence to prove your opinion if you focus on the development of one opinion.

You know what I am saying right? This essay deviated from the prompt discussion because you tried to compare 2 sides of the story when the instruction is to prove only one side, the point you disagree with. I cannot stress this enough, since this is a continuously repeated error on your part, maybe you should be focusing on understanding the difference between the different essay types for this test first. You cannot keep writing, making the same mistakes, then expect a different result.

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