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IELTS; TECHNOLOGY Vs TRADITIONAL SKILLS


le soleil 1 / -  
Sep 25, 2013   #1
Please help me find mistake on my essay. Thankssss!!
Technology exists with humanity and its development expanding in all areas of life as well as to all corners of the world. Therefore, I agree with the opinion expressed. It is unavoidable that the traditional skills and the ways of life will become dying out.

Traditional skills include all activities which make product by hand such as chairs, gloves, tables, etc. These skills are passed down over many years. Now, we use machines to replace craftsmen. Machine-made and workers make more and more essential thing for our lives. With technology, we have easier and convenient life whereas in the past, people had simpler and fresher lives without modern technology.

It is very difficult to try and keep the traditional skills and ways of life even though the government in many countries maintain craft villages. However, the purpose of almost craft villages is attracting the tourist. Technology gives people comfortable life for instance, the internet helps people connect, modern medicine rescued many patients from many diseases - which healer did not in the past, etc. Furthermore, the young live in modern social do not concern about keeping traditional skill because they like modern life. When a country develops its technology, it means the life will be modern and better than in the past.

In conclusion, traditional skills and ways of life has been making our lives good. However, the involution of technologies is a selection process. The development of technology will contribute more and more great thing for our lives.

dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Sep 25, 2013   #2
You should have included the prompt in your essay. Without seeing the prompt it is difficult to understand the argument and align our comments with task requirements.

Technology exists with humanity and its development expandinginto all areas of life as well as to all corners of the world.

... the second part is confusing. What do you mean by that?
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Sep 25, 2013   #3
First, it is very difficult to understand what you are supposed to write without having a clue about your topic. Have they given a statement for you to agree or disagree?

Whatever it is , I feel you need to improve a lot on your structure, vocabulary and most importantly your ideas too. Post the topic to the forum and I will have a look at it to give my comments. Do it faster as I may not be free after a few days :D
something 23 / 52 5  
Sep 26, 2013   #4
Traditional skills include all activities which make product by hand such as chairs, gloves, tables, etc.

I think this is better ".. such as chairs, gloves, tables, and so on "


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