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IELTS TASK 2; Technology vs Traditional Skills


sabakhai 5 / 11  
Feb 4, 2014   #1
I am writing for IELTS essay.

Subject: WHEN A COUNTRY DEVELOPS ITS TECHNOLOGY, THE TRADITIONAL SKILLS AND WAYS OF LIFE DIE OUT. IT IS POINTLESS TO TRY AND KEEP
THEM ALIVE. AGREE OR DISAGREE.

Technology has evolved exponentially in the past few decades. Most of the countries are more technology dependent than ever before. Due to which traditional skills are disappearing very rapidly. Government is trying hard to keep them alive. Some people agree with it and some do not.

People who support modern technology thinks that it is invalid to keep old traditional skills alive. First, new technology are fast and time saving. For example, show maker takes one complete day to make a pair of shoes while same can be done in few minutes at a shoe factory. In addition, technology saves money and delivers accurately. For instance, fabric made by cotton weaver is costly and may not be as good as fabric made in cloth mill.

On the other hand, there are many people disagree with this approach. Traditional skills are not just tools to make things but it is an art. Let us consider pottery. It is not just a skill to make vessels but it is also and art. Furthermore, people living in small village depend on these traditional skills. With the advent of technology, they have lost their bread and butter.

In a nutshell, advancement in the technology has certain pros and cons. If we want to reap the benifits of this progress, we have to make sure that no one is left behind. I think, it is good to move on and forget about traditional skills. It is difficult to meet today's large demand with old and slow tools. We can teach everyone to use new technology and we

can have inclusive growth.

WORD COUNT: 266 (Required: 250)
TIME: 35 minutes (Given: 40 minutes)
TARGET BAND: 6.5 (Out of 9)

dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Feb 4, 2014   #2
I am writing for IELTS essay.

Then mention that in the title itself :) It helps you earn more feedbacks (I included the purpose in your title )
Technology has evolvedkept advancing exponentially in the past few decades

Due to which traditional skills are disappearing very rapidly.

This has posed a threat on traditional skills and these skills have started to disappear gradually.

Government is trying hard to keep them alive.

Your prompt doesn't talk anything about the government. So this sentence is out of topic.
Cl0ark0 1 / 10 2  
Feb 4, 2014   #3
What I use to help organize my ideas is to print out the essay and separate the sentences by physically cutting them out. I group what ideas go together. I'm saying this because your ideas are great, but you have them scattered. Jumping from one to another. I'm going to advise you to do this first, before worrying about minor grammar issues. Good job though!
Fardhani Putri 23 / 46 7  
Feb 4, 2014   #4
In introduction you can write your opinion, such as In my view....,or while...,I believe... so it makes easy for you to explain your opinion besides agree and disagree statements.


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