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'Teen Responsibility' - dropingout of high school (agree or disagree)


betocheagha 2 / 5  
Nov 13, 2012   #1
Please fix any grammar or any problem with this FATt sentence for me.

Thank you so much.

Teen Responsibility [TITLE]



In the persuasive essay "What Does Responsibility Look Like?" Louise Bohmer Turnbull reveals the hard reality of students dropping out school and going living on their own. Teens have responsibility to go to school, study and get a college degree and later with their college degree get a job as a high income job and not to dropout high school. Teens should avoid dropping out school and continue their school due to get a good high income job so that they can support themselves or their family, later. The author, Louise Bohmer Turnbull stated that "Jobs like babysitting, ushers, dog-walkers, fast-food workers are jobs with minimum wage with no benefits and little chance for advancement." Nevertheless, teens will go to find any kind of income, like selling drugs, prostitution to earn money to live. I believe best choice for teenagers is to continue their school and get a good college degree since they do not have any responsibilities such as paying bills, taking care of kids, or working other than school and to become someone and get a good job with high income salary and enjoy their life.



ah_zafari [Contributor] 40 / 672 148  
Nov 13, 2012   #2
Would you let me know what is the prompt? Is that an essay or it is a part of a term paper. If it is an essay you should completely change the structure of the essay (Introduction+ two or three body paragraphs+ conclusion).
OP betocheagha 2 / 5  
Nov 13, 2012   #3
It's a FATt sentence. All I need to see if its good as a grammar. :)


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