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Teenage pregnancy and sexual education at schools


bdemerdan 1 / -  
Nov 4, 2011   #1
Nowadays, many teens under the age of 18 had experienced or know about sexual intercourse, and some of them ended up being a parent. The most intriguing case of teenage pregnancy that I got to know was about a 12-year-old boy had sex with his

classmate and had a baby. Also, many rumors state that the girl had sex with twelve other classmates of hers. This shows us that most of the teenagers today are easily exposed or knows about sex because of the technology we have today. What we need here is to teach them about sex education in all schools. Well, there are schools that are already teaching their students about sex education. But other people disagree to it; some believe that they are still young to teach them about it, and it blocks god from forming a creation.

Why we need sex education. Because I believe that nowadays, it is common to the society that both parents are busy working to support their children. Therefore, they can't always keep an eye or talk to their children. Also, it would be awkward if they would talk about sex to their children. Sex education also teaches us what to do in order to have a safe sex with our partner, because it teaches us to use contraceptives such as pills and condom. It helps to decreases the cases of teen pregnancy and abortion. It helps to control the growth of population in populated countries.

For example: population grow this the biggest problem in China, in addition; the Chinese government made a law that allows only one child per family. Because if the population keeps increasing in a certain place, there will be food and job shortage. It gives us knowledge on how to avoid, and what are the causes of sexually transmitted diseases.

On the other hand, sex education can also promote sexual activity to teens. It gives them the idea of having sex with their girlfriend without getting into trouble.

But, we can't deny the fact that we always using the Internet and the television. And we can always see advertisements on the internet/T.V. shows where sex and nudity is involved. It is also impossible that majority of the teens doesn't know about sex.

They are growing up, and become more curious about everything, therefore; sex education needs to be taught in all schools.
hesaves 2 / 3  
Nov 4, 2011   #2
The overall message and content is very interesting. However, you can make this essay even stronger if you organize and structure it better because I saw that you changed topics rather quickly and do not develop the idea. You also need to work on transitions to make the essay flow. Make sure you read your essay outloud to yourself. Here are some other things that I did not get to address:

1) Use consistent verb tenses
2) Do not use contractions
3) Be precise
4) If this is a formal essay, do not use personal pronouns
5) Get rid of incomplete thoughts or statements
6) Word choice

I hope that helps. I do not intend to be overly critical; I just want to give you my honest advice and help you out.

Go read and edit one of my essays. :)


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