Hi everyone, thanks for stopping by.
Since I am a newcomers on IELTS, I do really need lots of insights for my writting subjects.
Critics and comment are very welcome!
Q : Some people think that young children should be allowed to do paid work while others think that this should be illegal
Discuss both opinions and give your opinion
In the globalization era, the notion of employing the teenagers in paid work is debatable in several countries. Some people convince that this is a credit value, whilst others neglect it and assume that it is not allowed. In relation to this, I highly likely believe that allowing the teenager to work and get paid is acceptable. However, there should be some considerations to be concerned with.
Firstly, it is certainly true that the teenager's decision for having a paid work is not a poor decison at all. It would definitely add a few fresh insights about work life, which will be worthvalue for their forthcoming era. One of the good example is when they should deal with a few aspects of works such as maintaining a company's reputation, learning the practical and social skills, and they would even have another income, apart from their parents. All of these values are unusual subjects that they would never receive in the formal school.
However, some people also clearly believe that doing a paid job could affect their focus on studying and their physically as well. The adolescence is an era for studying and creating a memory alongside their friends. Doing chores, playing sports, and even being punished together are a period that they would love to recall it later. Therefore, instead of having paid, they certainly should focus on their study life and having a job, afterwards.
In my opinion, both of this views would be acceptable, depending on several condition. Taking an example for those whose their families need a financial support. It s highly make sense that having a paid work would rise their families income no matter what. In contrast, in work life, it would be too risky if they enter it with no clear backgrounds and have not finished their study, yet. They would be out of focus, since they are not fully developed at all.
As an conclusion, having a paid job or not is a decision which should be considered carefully because, the one that matter is how much our love is for what we do.
It is 350 words long because I am still confuse in several aspects.
1. In discussion and give opinion type, do we have to create a conclusion since we have creat our opinion? (As far as I am concerned, we are allowed to give an opinion as well in the conclusion)
2. If we need an conclusion, can I put it into a same paragraph with my point of view? Or divide them into two paragraphs?
3. Do we have to state our position about one view in introduction?
That is all. Really appreciate your support guys. GBU! :)
Patric, I would be happy to answer all your questions based on my own opinion to make you understand.
1. In discussion and give opinion type, do we have to create a conclusion since we have creat our opinion? (As far as I am concerned, we are allowed to give an opinion as well in the conclusion)
- Yes, conclusion is a must. But, you need to be careful, additional ideas in the concluding paragraph is not allowed. You just need to sum up all the ideas that you've mentioned in your body paragraphs. Remember, if you want to reach band 7 or above, ''no conclusions drawn (band 5) or unclear conclusion (band 6)'' are suggested to be avoided.
2. If we need an conclusion, can I put it into a same paragraph with my point of view? Or divide them into two paragraphs?
- It is usually in the same paragraph, and therefore you need to wrap it up in a paragraph rather than separate it.
3. Do we have to state our position about one view in introduction?
- Yes, you have to do that in order to show a clear stance towards the issue. Remember the criteria of band 7 "presents a clear position throughout the response" which means that since the beginning of the paragraph you need to state your clear position, and do not forget to re-state it again in 'conclusion paragraph'.
There you are Patric, I hope my answers can be helpful. Do not hesitate to ask further if you need clearer explanation.
Cheers :)
Hi Patric, here are my thoughts on your concerns.
1. In discussion and give opinion type, do we have to create a conclusion since we have creat our opinion? (As far as I am concerned, we are allowed to give an opinion as well in the conclusion) - Well, the discussion part is for you to tackle the prompt and discuss the nature of the essay, the opinion part is for you to take the chance to voice out your personal thoughts and insights to the essay, overall, this parts of the essay is very relevant and needed in order to come up with a well rounded and complete writing project.
2. If we need an conclusion, can I put it into a same paragraph with my point of view? Or divide them into two paragraphs? - Your conclusion part does not necessarily mean that you need a separate paragraph for it, however, you need to make sure that this ideas or parts of the essay are clearly stated in the essay and will not confuse the reader.
3. Do we have to state our position about one view in introduction?
- A good approach on the introduction is to let your readers know what you are writing about,you can pretty much write or define the purpose of your essay and this will greatly help your reader in understanding the essay and knowing what to expect in the following paragraphs.
Patric, you don't have to worry about being new to IELTS, all you have to do is practice, track your progress and make sure that you learn from your mistakes, correct them as soon as you can and make sure that you take time to review the language rules, this will help you in coming up with an even stronger essay and a well polished one too.
