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Teenagers' Preference for Fast Food Restaurants in Vietnam and Indonesia


irsaqisthi 3 / 6 5  
Dec 11, 2019   #1

the choice of particular fast food chains



The pie chart presents the proportion of teenagers' preference for three fast food restaurants in Vietnam and Indonesia from 2017 to 2027.

In 2017, the percentage of teenagers eating at Burger King, McDonald's, and KFC in Vietnam were 52,8%, 43,1%, and 4,1% respectively. The figures showed that Burger King was the most preferred restaurant in Vietnam. However, the most popular restaurant in Indonesia was McDonald's chosen by 60,8% teenagers, followed by KFC and Burger King with respective percentages of 23,8% and 15,4%.

In the next 10 years, the proportion of teenagers choosing McDonald's in Vietnam is projected to rise by 14,3%, overtaking that of Burger Kings which is predicted to decrease by 13,8%. Meanwhile, the percentages of teenagers eating at KFC will show noticeable increases but remain being the lowest in Vietnam. By contrast, the preference of Indonesian teenagers for McDonald's will significantly reduce to less than 50%, but those for KFC and Burger King will show the reverse.

Overall, the percentage of teenagers choosing Burger King was initially the highest in Vietnam, while the most preferred fast food outlet in Indonesia was McDonald's. However, the latter is predicted to rapidly increase and eventually become the most popular restaurant in both countries.




yasabh 2 / 2 1  
Dec 12, 2019   #2
Hi Irsa, I just notice that you've made some grammar mistakes, let me correct it for you:

Here you are,

fast food as adj should be written using hypen (-) fast-food
but remain being the lowest in Vietnam is incomplete S+V agreement but it remains the lowest, or you should write but remaining to be the lowest

... is written well but better if you write ... to increase rapidly, eventually becoming the most ...
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
Dec 15, 2019   #3
I dont need see any problem in the introduction. You did it well. However, it seems that some misconception in the overview. You cannot say this: teenagers choosing Burger King, and therefore you need to change it into teenager choosing to EAT fast food in Burger King. Again, you come up with predicted to rapidly increase that I think it needs to be changed into ...predicted to show an upward trend.

When it comes to details 1 & 2, you have successfully described the trend and differences, but you fail to minimize the errors, like the percentage ... were; but remain being the lowest; , the preference ... significantly reduce. Also, some data is unclear, like the percentages ... increases but remain being the lowest ...

Not only this, you attempted to use some references, but they misused, like The figures; those for;

Hope this helps


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