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Ielts; teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work


skop 3 / 6  
Nov 13, 2012   #1
When it comes to unpaid community work, some assert that young people who are passing their adolescents ought to do unpaid work in community, which can bring huge benefits to both of them. Basically, I agree with that thus most of teenagers do not know how to manage their spare time, usually spending on computers games, TV or looking for excitement out of home. 63

Evidently, unless young generation will occupy voluntary work, like working for charity, this will be beneficial in generally on personal features as well as on skills development. Furthermore, assisting others in society makes them form a sense of fulfillment, happiness and contentedness together with making them more responsible personalities in the society. Therefore, dealing with different people like disables, gays or form other nations, it is one of the life survival lesson as teaching us of manners and sympathy.

Admittedly, there are wild range of voluntary work that has given the opportunity to be a part of the crew in particularly interested them field which could valuable in self-satisfaction and motivation in studies father. Besides, teenagers being belong professional people, flourishing/ booming ?? in a huge influence on studying hard much as appreciate someone's work and time, turning to feature requites by potential employer like their communication skills, time management, team work.

In conclusion, personally I believe there are only positive sites of working as a volunteer, though the young people needs some encourage. There will avoiding extend of problems as like unappreciated behavior towards their parent's work and home chores. Lastly, employers are now far more willing to recruit who have been engaged in voluntary jobs. Therefore those first-hand experiences eventually become their superiority.

I will really happy if someone could helps me point my mistakes and also says something about my construction of sentences.

Many thanks,

maripili - / 2  
Nov 13, 2012   #2
here some corrections

most of the teenagers

makes them from a sense of fulfillment,

Admittedly, there are a wild range of voluntary work that has given the opportunity to be a part of the crew in particularly interested them field which could valuable in self-satisfaction and motivation in studies father. Besides, teenagers being belong professional people, flourishing/ booming ?? in a huge influence on studying hard much as appreciate someone's work and time, turning to feature 'requires' by potential employer like their communication skills, time management, team work.

In addition, be sure that on each paragraph you explain something with examples this is essential.
Great job and good luck
OP skop 3 / 6  
Nov 13, 2012   #3
Thanks so much ::))) !!!!
renlyso 4 / 18  
Nov 13, 2012   #4
Adding general information to the introduction will be better. :-)


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