Telecommuting allows employer to cut costs

costs reducing in a company

Telecommuting allows the employer to cut costs. Cost can be reduce drastically. Employer can also rent small office for only fewer staff.
In addition, less equipment is needed to support the business operations. Furthermore, the number of staff require working at the office would much smaller and the employer would manage them more easy.

1. Cost can be reduced drastically.
2. Furthermore, the number of staff required working at the office would be much smaller and the employer would manage the staff more easy.

note:the "them" mistake- pronoun issue: refer to what?? the pronoun 'them' would refer to the Antecedent in the sentence, usually the subject of the sentence, and the subject in your sentence is 'the number'. So it is not you intended meaning of the sentence.

Renzo, your statement has time reference issues. It appears that you are using a future tense voice in the discussion related to telecommuting. As such, you need to be consistent and present all of your time related words in its past format. Therefore, this statement should have been written as:

Telecommuting allows employers to cut costs. These costs could be drastically reduced once the employer rents a small office. The smaller space is logical since the employer will have fewer office staff. Less equipment will also be required for the daily operations. It will be easier to manage such a company size due to the minimal working staff required to run the office.

You need to be clear about the timeline you are writing about. In this essay, there was a tendency for the reader to be confused because you mixed up the past, present, and future tenses of your references. That can easily be avoided by first deciding on the timeline that the essay will be presenting and then writing the essay in that reference format.