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[TOEFL]Does the telephone greater influence on people's lives than television has?

scurry 3 / 3 2  
Nov 7, 2013   #1
TOPIC:Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The telephone has greater influence on people's lives than television has.
Today almost everyone have their cell phones, no matter they are from the developing countries or the developed countries. This fact can show how important the cell phone is to us and what a huge effect it has on the whole world. Another widely used electronic products-television, however, gradually become less popular than before. And I believe cell phones have more effects on us than televisions in today's society based on following reasons.

First, televisions can be replaced by computers as the development of technology to some extent. More and more people now use computers to watch TV programs by some software. In fact, they can even watch more channels by computers because the online TV allows us to watch programs all over the world. And another advantage of computers is you can watch the TV programs anytime online. If you have work to do and miss the drama last night, you can download the episode online and watch it. That's what televisions cannot provide.

So the function of televisions is not unique any more. I believe there will be even more people use computers to watch TV program on the internet as the advancement of technology.

Unlike the television, the cell phone is becoming more important in our daily life than before. It almost has replaced the telephone. At the past, people just use cell phones to make a phone call when they are not at home or text someone while walking on the street. But now cell phones have much more functions than the past. People can enjoy a variety of entertainment on cell phones. People use cell phones to listen to music, to play games, to surf the internet and even use them to watch online TV. So the cell phone is much more than a tool of communication now. And recently, as the advent of the facebook and the twitter, the use of cell phones became even more frequent. We can see many young people use facebook or twitter all day. They show their thoughts and feelings on the software by cellphone at anyplace anytime. In my view, cell phones has become the most influential tool in our lives, no matter the influence is positive or negative.

As I said, for one thing, the television is becoming less popular. For another the cell phone became even more popular than before. So it can be concluded that cell phone has greater influence than televisions now.

Thank you for your comments
tarhuna16 4 / 5 1  
Nov 7, 2013   #2
You are well done, however you slightly deviated of the topic. As I get from your essay you persuade reader in advantages of computer and cell phone. You task to compare television and telephone and lastly You must state do you agree or not. Beside this you have a great skill! KUDOS!!
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Nov 7, 2013   #3
everyone have

everyone has / everybody has / every person has / all the people have
all have / all of us have / all the people have
Pay more attention to your essay structure.

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