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Television advertising should be prohibited for young children.


Svucetich 1 / -  
Apr 27, 2020   #1
Hello everyone! What do you think about this Toefl writing task?

Television advertising directed toward young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed



In my opinion, television Advertising directed at young children should not be allowed. They are to young to see things in TV that have a lot of persuasion and could influence those young children in a bad manner.

Children at that age (two to five) do not distinguish between good and bad things. For example, any children should watch advertising about cigarettes or alcohol. Those advertisings' consumers are parents or people over 18 that can purchase them. A child could misunderstand the message of the advertising and can have more probabilities to consume cigarettes and alcohol when they grow up.

In long term, children could become aggressive. There are a lot of advertisings about not driving after consuming alcohol or drugs, about where to call if a woman is suffering violence at home, or even about series that involve discovering who murder somebody. This all advertisings will affect the children's brain and maybe when they grow up they could have more chances to be aggressive with their wife, to drink and drive after or to murder somebody.

For those reasons, I think that television advertising should be prohibited for children from two to five years old. Their subconscious could absorb bad messages and that could affect in their behavior at school, university and life in general.
Amy Tran 2 / 2  
Apr 28, 2020   #2
I think you should give background for introduction.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,835 4782  
Apr 28, 2020   #3
Your essay needs to lower its discussion. It is too morbid for a topic that simply asked if you agree that advertising directed at children age 2-5 should not be allowed. Your reasons are not related to childhood understanding. You are discussing this as if the children have already become adults. That is not the scenario presented in the essay. Advertising directed at children are shown at a specific time, when children are watching. Adult commercials are shown during prime time, or when only adults are watching.

The discussion for this essay should have focused on simpler considerations. The simpler considerations are how children could ask parents to buy toys, clothes, and other accessories their parents cannot afford, children could see the financial discrepancy in their lives when there are things like kiddie vacations being advertised that their parents cannot bankroll, simpler stuff related to the whims and caprices of kids. Nobody needs to be discussed in a violent form in your discussion. It really threw the essay off the mark. Stick to the effect on the child, not the future effect on the the adult who was a child.
vanessazhang00 2 / 2 1  
Apr 28, 2020   #4
"They are too young to see ... and it could ..."

You should write a bit more about the general topic in the first paragraph.


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