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Television has had a mostly negative effect on society.


bahareh 18 / 50  
Apr 26, 2011   #1
Television shows are the most popular program that can amuse people who are interested in watching them. Nowadays, people especially children are depended on TV to spend their time, and they would rather to fill up their schedule by sitting in front of TV and watching it. However, watching TV brings mostly negative effects such as threat to the maintenance of traditional family values, children's future, and people's behavior.

Nowadays, television threats to the maintenance of traditional family values. Parents spend less time with their children now, and they are too busy to be with their children. However, TV can be the third parent for children, and children are willing to spend the rest of their daily time to watch it instead of being with their parents. However, there were different relationship between parents and children before the TV invention, which was stronger and more connectable. Unfortunately, old values will slowly slip away and new ones, established by TV, will take their place.

Watching TV provides many disadvantages for our children's future and their health. While watching TV, children have less play time and also physical activities in open space with their friends, so they won't be able to have a healthy life. Besides, another issue related to watching TV, is a developmental disorder in the part of brain which is for language skill; therefore, children can't pay attention effectively; have concentration.

TV has brought many changes in people's behavior, and their response to others. Most of TV shows contains of many various advertisements that could affect on people and mainly on their children. People especially children may have early exposure to wild variety of things such as super hero shows like superman and all things that are related to him and his story, so children try to act like Superman whether it is a good behavior or not. Therefore, media such as TV impacts deeply on children mind, and their virtual view of their life.

Finally, although television has had many negative effects on our life, it can be a good tool for learning or discovering new subjects. Sometimes, children use it as a resource to increase their knowledge and information, but not spending too much time only on watching it .As a result, people should consider all consequences of watching TV, and other negative circumstances like losing traditional family values or children's future.

Neogio - / 1  
Apr 28, 2011   #2
I suggest taking out the first two sentences and saying something along the lines of:
"American society has become more dependent on TV--" And then provide some statistics that support your initial claim.

Trying be a little more concise with your prose, for example:

"However,W atching TV brings mostly negative effects such as threat to the maintenance ofthreatens traditional family values, our children's future, and people's behavior.

And I recommend that you be more specific with your essay, like with your fourth paragraph... How has TV's influence on society brought about changes in their behavior?
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,337 129  
Apr 28, 2011   #3
Great ideas, Giovanny! Bahareh, I will correct some more errors. Please practice these sentences by typing each of them 10 times. That will help you learn the correct grammar.

:-)

Television shows are the most popular programs, and they can amuse people who are interested in watching them.

Nowadays, people, especially children, are dependent on TV to spend their time, and they would rather to fill up their schedule by sitting in front of TV and watching it.

However, watching TV brings mostly negative effects, such as threat to the maintenance of traditional family values, children's future, and people's behavior.

Nowadays, television threatens the maintenance of traditional family values.

Parents spend less time with their children now, and they are too busy to be with their children.---good sentence!

Besides, another issue related to watching TV is a developmental disorder in the part of brain which is associated with language skill; therefore, children can't pay attention effectively to information involving words and language.

Most of TV shows contain various advertisements that could affect people, and mainly their children.

Finally, although television has had many negative effects on our life, it can be a good tool for learning or discovering new subjects.----This is another great sentence!

Sometimes, children use it as a resource to increase their knowledge and information, but not spending they should not spend too much time watching it.

:-)
OP bahareh 18 / 50  
Apr 29, 2011   #4
Thankyou Kevin, it is really helpful.
How about my conclusion , is that ok if I bring out a positive effect related to watching TV only with one sentence ; however, the entire of my essay discusses on only negative effects?

Pleasse let me know if I'm wrong.
THANKYOU
Bahareh
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,337 129  
May 2, 2011   #5
Well, you lose credibility if you fail to acknowledge some of the positive effects. For example, television can help people to know what is going on in the world, help children learn to read, and help spread awareness in the case of an emergency. Acknowledge all these, but then show that they are not as significant as the negative effects.

It is looking good!


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