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Television is one of the most wonderful inventions of human. And how it influence our children?


lamphuongta 1 / 3 1  
Oct 9, 2017   #1
Watching television is waste of time. Do you agree with this? Why?

less tv, more activities for kids



Television is one of the most wonderful inventions of human. We can learn a lot from a television. However, new surveys suggest that the TV we use to make our life easier are killing our leisure time. Therefore, some people say watching TV is waste of time for children because of many reasons.

Firstly, they become highly addicted to watching TV which leads to lots of health problems such as headache, backache, and falling eye sights. They are working shorter hours, taking fewer activities. They may easily get access to the harmful things on TV like people usually do on horror or action or violent films. It is dangerous for children . As a result, the productivity and efficiency im work or study of kids who usually watch TV are not high. Thus, children will have poor concentration on their work or study and often distract their duties.

Secondly, it cannot help children get more living skills because they are always sitting in front of the television and do not do anything. Consequently, they do not go outside, they will not have many chances to expose their feelings or presenting their ideas in public. Some skills such as team spirit, creativity, problem solving, cognitive, and social skills are not gained. For example, instead sitting in front of the TV, what about going outside and make friend or go for a walk with the family,.. The problem is that children do not have wisdom to discriminate between what is good or bad for them. They can compromise their sleeping hours to watch their favourite shows or films. They can also neglect their household chores or homework..

However, in fact, some people say television has both drawbacks and advantages. Children can watch some channels to know more the present affairs of the world. They can learn more lessons in a fun way by watching special shows for children. TV is very important for human. Everything contains good side and bad side, and the television has no exception. Children should spend little time watching TV and take part in more activities.

In summary, although it has many drawbacks, we try our best to reduce them and make it better for children.

---- Anatasia aka @lamphuongta -----
Can somebody check this essay for me please ; 3 ; ? Thanks.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4772  
Oct 9, 2017   #2
Anatasia, I wish you had provided me with the complete and original prompt requirement for this essay. It appears within your discussion that you had a prompt deviation from the end. At first, it seemed like you were discussing the disadvantages of television watching in children. Then towards the end, you mentioned a different prompt requirement which is the drawbacks and advantages. Which is which? What was the original prompt really asking you to discuss? This confusion in the actual thesis statement of your essay can cause a lower points consideration for your work.

Be careful of your vocabulary and spelling. There is no such term as "addicerd". I believe the term you wanted to use was "addicted". Carelessness in your spelling and sentence formation will result in difficult to understand sentences, which in turn, will translate into points deductions on your part. You also said "im work" instead of "in work". That is another example of careless writing that will turn your essay into a useless essay.

Your punctuation is also faulty as you have a line in the 3rd paragraph where you have a comma followed by ellipses. What exactly were you going for? A comma and a continued discussion or a period and a new discussion? These small errors are slowly adding up to lead towards a failing score in your essay. I could go on and on with more references to your mistakes in this essay but I just need to give you a general idea of where your problem points are so that you can focus on improving those sections in your next round of practice essays.


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