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'Television and vacuum cleaner were the most preferable durable items'; "Consumer Durables"; IELTS


brty 2 / 9  
Sep 23, 2014   #1
The table belows (attached) shows the consumer durables (telephone, refrigerator, etc.) owned in Britain from 1972 to 1983.Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below.

The table chart illustrates the figures for durable goods bought by British consumers over a period of 11 years.

According to the table, well over 85% of houses had television and vacuum cleaner between 1972 and 1978 while only around 55% of households equipped with heating and telephone. During the same period, the number of houses with refrigerator and washing machine rose noticeably to 91% and 75% respectively. Lastly, only a few houses in Britain had dishwasher at the end of year 1978.

During 197 and 1983, the figures for central heating and telephone kept increasing by around 15% while almost all the houses equipped with television, refrigeratorand vacuum cleaner. Over a period of 4 years, the percentage of houses with washing machine increased to 80% as only %5 of houses had dishwasher. Furthermore, video was introduced to market and bought by 18% of houses in Britain in 1983.

In conclusion, television and vacuum cleaner were the most preferable durable items however dishwasher and video did not receive the same attention from British customers between 1972 and 1983.

Word count:179

I would be most obliged if you could provide me feedback & a possible band score. Thanks.




eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,195 459  
Sep 23, 2014   #2
You write well.
You don't need to write a conclusion for IELTS writing task 1. You need to write an "overview" of the information. Which is what the main trend(s) in the graph is presented.

A conclusion should be at the end of a piece of writing (IELTS task 2). An overview or general summary could go either at the end or near the beginning.
OP brty 2 / 9  
Sep 23, 2014   #3
My intention was to write an overview by mentioning the general trend at the graph. I will write ''overall' instead of 'in conclusion'' next time to not let the confusion.

Thank you for the feedback and time, Eddy! What band score would I get with this, do you have any opinion ?
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,195 459  
Sep 23, 2014   #4
In conclusion, television and vacuum cleaner were the most preferable durable items however dishwasher and video did not receive the same attention from British customers between 1972 and 1983 (you don't need to put "years' as it should be placed in introductory paragraph) .

Remember, try to prevent numbers or years when talking about an overview.

Let me give a try for an overview:
It is clear that while the most common item was recorded by Television, telephone and central heating experienced the biggest change if compared to other goods.

During 197 and 1983, the figures for central heating and telephone kept increasing by around 15% while almost all the houses equipped with television, refrigeratorand vacuum cleaner. Over a period of 4 years, the percentage of houses with washing machine increased to 80% as only %5 of houses had dishwasher. Furthermore, video was introduced to market and bought by 18% of houses in Britain in 1983 ( I delete these two items as they didn't form a line with TV, vacuum, and refrigerator .

You need a slight improvement on words.
A closer look at the table shows that 93% of British homes had a TV in 1972. In 1983, this increased to 98%, a rise of about 7% over a period of 11 years. Then followed by the majority of homes: a vacuum cleaner and refrigerator, these goods stood at over 90% of households from the 1970s onwards. At the same time, washing machines came fourth in this proportion, from 66% to 80% of households, between 1972 and 1983.

What band score would I get with this, do you have any opinion ?

Sorry Dear..., I can't even give you the band score. I just want to make sure that your report writings align with the IELTS TASK 1 Writing band descriptors (public version).
OP brty 2 / 9  
Sep 23, 2014   #5
It is clear that while the most common item was recorded by Television, telephone and central heating experienced the biggest change if compared to other goods.

Thank you so much for the detailed feedback and time once again Eddy! i will definitely take your advice and try to implement at my next essay.


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