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TELL ME ABOUT YOUR FAVORITE TV PROGRAMME ?


huongkhoi1708 3 / 3 1  
Feb 19, 2015   #1
Of all the TV programme I've seen, '' Overcome Myself '' is the programme which I enjoy the best.
'' Overcome Myself '' is very popular in Vietnam because of its humanity. It helps remove the burden of debt from the poor. It has been carried out over ten years and over one thousand families have improved their lives.

The poor can join in this programme. Every week one family can attend it. There are three rounds. In each round, the attenders must complete the challenges that are the same as their occupations. If they finish it on time, they will get a bounty.

What makes '' Overcome Myself '' interesting ? The question isn't difficult to answer because many famous celebrities take part in this programme and the prize is a big sum of money. Beisdes, there are two prizes for the audience, too.

'' Overcome Myself '' makes millions of viewers become teary since the attenders are not only poor but also disabled. I suggest you should watch it on TV at 7:00PM every Tuesday and recommend it to your friends.
Vns9x 102 / 236 16  
Feb 20, 2015   #2
'' Overcome Myself '' makes millions of viewers become teary since the attenders are not only poor but also disabled. I suggest you should watch it on TV at 7:00PM every Tuesday and recommend it to your friends. It would sound even more informative if you added the channel which airs the show!

It helps remove the burden of debt of the poor individuals . It depends upon the debt, maybe alleviate would be a better word choice!
EF_Alyssa - / 8 9  
Feb 20, 2015   #3
Hello! Below I've listed a few changes you might make to correct the grammar.

"Of all the TV programmes I've seen"

Whenever you say the title of the show, it should be in italics (not quotation marks).

You might consider specifying what type of show this is in your second paragraph. (Is it a reality tv show, or a game show?) This would help clarify the response for readers who aren't familiar with Overcome Myself.

"over one thousand families have improved their lives" - To show the programme's correlation to this, try flipping the phrase: "and has improved the lives of over one thousand families"

" interesting ?" - Take out the space before the question mark.

Good luck with your revision! Keep up the good work!
OP huongkhoi1708 3 / 3 1  
Feb 21, 2015   #4
Thank you EF_Alyssa and Bob brother a lot !
EF_Season - / 21 14  
Feb 21, 2015   #5
HI huongkoi1708!

Since EF_Alyssa already helped you with the grammar and syntax, I thought I might touch on the development of your ideas, okay?

Your essay left me with a number of questions, partly because I've never seen the programme, so it may be that you could offer some clarification for a reader who is unfamiliar with the show.

WHY do YOU enjoy this program the best? You talk a lot about what the show does but you never fully develop what it is about the show that touches you, personally. If the prompt is to discuss WHY you like a particular show, perhaps you should more fully develop that idea. Here is an example from my own life: I love the television program "Property Brothers," which airs on the DIY (do it yourself) network here in the USA. What I love about this show is the fact that it gives me hope that I might find my dream home, even though I do not have the funds or money to purchase one. Hope is an important concept that this show conveys... then I might talk about how the show provides hope. Do you see? You can personalize the approach to the essay to better fit the prompt.

Why is it important that there are prizes for the audience as well? You write "Besides, there are two prizes for the audience, too." But you never tell your reader why these prizes are significant. Furthermore, the use of the word "Besides" suggests that the prizes for the audience are less important than the show itself; however, I suspect that many audience members HOPE for these prizes, is that correct?

Good luck as you revise! I enjoyed reading your essay. EF_Season


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