Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

Temperature and hours of daylight in Mumbai and Moscow - TASK 1 IELTS


kenny Tran 1 / -  
Apr 8, 2020   #1

The Table analysis, report



The table below gives information about the temperatures and hours of daylight in 2 cities in May 2007. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The table shows the data of temperatures and daylight hours on three continuous days in May 2007 in Mumbai and Moscow cities.

In general, the temperature in Mumbai was significantly higher than Moscow during the same period examined.

While the minimum temperature in Mumbai was constant at 29°C throughout 3 days from Friday to Sunday of May 2007, the maximum temperature in Mumbai had a slight change. In which, the highest temperature was observed at 35°C on Saturday, and it was the same at 33°C on Friday and Sunday. The daytime was 10 hours in 3 days with the morning and evening started from 6 am and around 4 pm, respectively.

In contrast to Mumbai, the minimum and maximum temperatures of Moscow were much lower with a temperature range from 3 to 10°C, and it was warmest on Saturday when the temperature reached 10°C and was stable for whole day. Whereas, the temperature of Friday and Sunday showed a slight fluctuation with 4-degree and 6-degree difference, respectively. On the other hand, the hours of sunlight were one and a half higher than that in Mumbai when the sun rises at about 5 am and goes down at 10 pm



Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,678 4113  
Apr 8, 2020   #2
Excellent writing. You made proper comparison points and clearly stated the information provided using a proper mix of simple and complex sentences. However, there were a few grammatical issues in your presentation. The first problem, is that you use the phrase "In which" at the start of a sentence. The phrase you chose to start the sentence with is only used as a connecting phrase between two related ideas in a sentence. It signifies a continuing discussion based on additional information. That is why it can never be used as a sentence starter.

In the last sentence, you indicted that the sunlight was higher. Actually, the sunlight measurement is never higher, it can only be longer or shorter. The heat of the sun can be measured in terms of highs and lows, but not the rate of sunlight.

A word of advice, when actual data is provided, do not use words of estimation nor indicate counter data such as "about 5 am" Instead, use the actual time provided for information accuracy. You should avoid using uncertainty in your presentation whenever possible to help you gain a better TA plus C&C score.


Home / Writing Feedback / Temperature and hours of daylight in Mumbai and Moscow - TASK 1 IELTS