A tendency to let children approach the basic education earlier than at the average school age

IELTS WRITING TASK2 (12/12) : CHILDREN

I really want to improve my writing skills, thank you for all your help :3

Topic: Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age. Some think they should begin at least 7 years old. Discuss both views and give opinions.

These days, many people have a tendency to let their children approach the basic education earlier than the average school age while others support that the children should only start their education when reaching 7. In the following essay, I will make a discussion and give my opinions about both viewpoints.

As the saying goes, " The sooner the better " , there are genuinely lots of people keep in mind a concept that recieving sooner education many provide their kids with much more superiority and competitiveness, as a result, numerous preschoolers are taken to various type of cram schools ,which directly leads to their stressful and toilsome childhoods . However, it's undeniable that early formal schooling brings obvious abvantages for children in certain subjects . For example, according to a previous research, children age between 4-6 are said be a significant better language learners compared to other age groups. Furthermore, talking about the physical education, this can be taken up in the early age as a habbit to keep fit.

On the other hand, 7 years-old kids are more effecient in learning including academic subjects or life skills in terms of their higher self-discipline ability and cognition. The difference between that two periods of lifetime is caused the different amount of experience as well as information they gain from the surrounding environment during their growth process. 7 years-old children are able to solve the problems more effective with the help of their existing knowledge and understanding. Therefore, beginning formal education at least 7 years old are not only time-saving for children but also useful in helping them raise the effeciency of their study.

In conclusion, both perspectives are reasonable in their own ways. Personally, if I have a child in the future, I will prefer to send my kid to school not too early as not to put on him or her too much stress.

Apart from some spelling and grammatical errors, your essay achieved the task given.

...until you put bias in the last sentence. I suggest you omit that last sentence and give a more general statement that can stress the fact that each method has its own pros and cons.

In your introduction paragraph, you have an incomplete sentence. You refer to 7. A reader who does not know what the prompt is about will wonder what the 7 is. 7 moths? 7 years? 7 decades? Always include the descriptive reference when mentioning numbers. Noun phrase problems also exist. "A" refers to the singular so the term should be "learner" not "learners". You are showing that you are not familiar with how to use punctuation marks as you are using hyphens when you should not be using it (time-saving = timesaving). There are also conciseness issues, and contraction usage (it's = it is) for formality sake. Remember that this is an academic paper so contractions do not have any place in the sentence structure.