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IELTS writing test-equal gender in university


Catherine Xu 1 / -  
Nov 16, 2011   #1
I'm a poor writer and I'll take IELTS test. I'll be very grateful if you can give me some advises in writing. Thank you!

Topic: Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In old days, many respected people fought for the girl's right to attend school, because they want to give children equality in education. And now, another question appeared, is it necessary to provide equal access to male and female to every subject in university? My answer is absolutely no.

It is widely accepted that men and women have different ways of thinking which contribute to their talent in different subject. In most cases, women are more emotional and sensitive, so they can perform better in literature and education subjects. Whereas, the mind of male are likely designed to deal with IT and physical problems. Therefore, the admission commitment will give boys more opportunities than girls to enter science class because of their ability to understand this subject more easily rather than because of their gender.

I made this suggestion because I really suffer a unpleasant time with physic and chemistry class. In China, students are required to study in either science or arts in high school. I followed my parents' advise of studying science which was a terrible decision.All 6 girls in class worked so hard in study but still fell behind the boys who didn't take the courses seriously. Later on, I change my major to arts and perform well in all my courses, including history, geography and politics. Therefore, I realized that different people suit for different major. And the difference can be extremely obvious when it comes to the gender.

After all, I recommend that places of subjects should be given to students depend on their ability and characteristics but not on the gender, citing concerns that opportunity is limited and should be provided to people who can really seize it.
lavender_pham 3 / 11  
Nov 16, 2011   #2
... And now, another question appeared, is it necessary to provide equal access to male and female to every subject in university?I believe the question is about "Should Universities accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject?". The way you phrased it made reader confuses of what you were trying to answer

It is widely accepted that men and women have different ways of thinking, which contribute to their talent in different subject. In most cases, women are more emotional and sensitive, so they can perform better in literature and education subjects. Whereas, the mind of male are likely designed to deal with ITinformation technology and physical problems.

Therefore, the admission commitment will give boys more opportunities than girls to enter science class because of their ability to understand this subject more easily rather than because of their gender. Word choice confusion! Why did you use "will" here and later said it was a "suggestion".

I made this suggestion because I really suffersuffered an unpleasant time with physics and chemistry classes . In China, students arewere required to study in either science or arts in high school. I followed my parents' advisc e of studyingto study science, which was a terrible decision. All 6 girls in my class worked so hard in study, but we still fell behind the boys who didn't take the courses seriously. Later on, I changed my major to arts and performed well in all my courses, including history, geography and politics. Therefore, I realized that different people suit for different major. And the difference can be extremely obvious when it comes to the gender.

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I am a very bad writer myself and often make lots of grammar mistakes. However, you made plenty of grammar mistakes on tenses. Your diction and the way you put it together made the essay very confused. To be honest, I'm not quite sure what side are you on. You need to be clear and direct to what you want to say.


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