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Writing test exercise for ielts; the number of trips to and from UK increased every year 1979-1999


resair 1 / -  
Dec 2, 2016   #1
The line chart illustrates the number of trips of foreign visitors come to UK and UK's local visitors went to another country between the time period of 1979 and 1999. Within those 20 years, the number of trips to and from UK were increase every year. Generally, the number of foreign visitors who visited to UK were fewer than the number of UK's residents who visited another country around the world. In 1979 the number of visits to UK were about ten million and the number and increased nearly three times higher for about 29 million in 1999. While the number of visits from UK in 1979 were about 11 million a little bit higher than the number of visits to UK. In 1999 the number of UK's resident visits aboard were grew up so fast reach about 51 million. Between 1984 and 1989 there are a point year that shows a significant trend of increasing the number of visits to and from UK.

From the bar chart we can see that in 1999 France was being the most popular country to be visited by UK's visitors among other destination country such as Spain, USA, Greece and Turkey. The number of UK's residents who traveled to France were about 11 million. Sequentially the top five destination country that was chosen to be UK's resident aboard destination frequently were France, Spain, USA, Greece and Turkey.

justivy03 - / 2,367 607  
Dec 2, 2016   #2
Hi Resa, before I provide you a few feedbacks, I would like to WELCOME you to the Essay Forum Family, here, we aim at providing you with the most accurate feedback and constructive criticism in order for you to strengthen your essay and to let you discover how to approach the prompt or the writing project better.

Having said that, as this is an analysis essay, I suggest that you include the chart that you are trying to analyze as this is the main source of the information and the only way we can determine that you are being accurate with your analysis.Nevertheless, I would like to share a few insights that will enhance your sentences.

- trips ofthat foreign visitors come to the UK
- and from the UK were increase every year.
- who visited to the UK were fewerlesser than the number
- and the number and increased nearly three times higher
- for aboutat 29 million in 1999.
- While the number of visits from the UK in 1979 were
- of visits to the UK.
- aboard were grew up so fast reach aboutspiked to 51 million.
- Between 1984 and 1989 there areis a point of the year that shows (...) visits to and from the UK.

There you have it Resa, I hope the above remarks help you in your revision and for future writing reference, mind the missing linking verbs in your sentences such as the, that, this, it completes the sentence and without it the sentence is not complete.
ichanpants89 [Contributor] 16 / 777 309  
Dec 14, 2016   #3
Resa, writing an acceptable and recommended paragraphing structure for an IELTS task 1 is not that difficult. It is suggested for you to write at least three paragraphs for this type of essay. The first paragraph should be the introduction paragraph that consists of question's paraphrase (1st sentence), and overview sentences (2nd and 3rd sentence). Creating a bulky introduction paragraph like what you've done might confuse the examiner. An essay that is difficult to understand can drag your band score down to 5.

After creating the introduction paragraph that consist of three sentences, you can write the first and second body paragraph. Before writing them, it is better for you to split the information from the chart given into half and equal portion. This can help you develop the essay easily. It is unfortunate that you didn't upload the picture, I would just come up with a simple example. When the chart shows two different data from 2008 and 2016 for example, in the first body paragraph, you can write the information that appears in 2008 and in the second body paragraph, you can just write the information in 2016. It might also be applied for this essay. The first body paragraph will explain about 1979 only and then, the second body paragraph just simply describe about what happened in 1999, as simple as that.


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