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IELTS task 1: How a thermos flask works.


eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,195 459  
Mar 7, 2014   #1
Hellooooo Guys :)
Please give me some relevant feedback about Task Response, Coherence and Cohesion, Lexical Resource and Grammar on this visual writing.

Question:
The diagram opposite shows how a thermos flask works.
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Answer:

The picture below describes the components of thermos flask, which can maintain temperature in several hours.

In general, there are seven main components of thermos flask. The first component is insulated support; this part is located at the bottom of the flask, with a pattern like a half circle. Next part is called vacuum flask. This part is divided into two parts: the part that is near vacuum is poor conductor and in glass envelope - silvered - contains component that has function to decrease infrared radiation. The third component is the outer case, which is part of the body in the outer flask.

The next component is metal plastic, which is located at the neck of the flask. Thermos flask has a cap that is usually made of plastic material. And the last component is plastic cup at the top of thermos flask, which is usually used to drink. Between cap and plastic cap, there are places for some heat lost.

All in all, thermos flask with around 30 - 40cm total of length could control maximum temperature regulations.





Pahan 1 / 1,908 553  
Mar 8, 2014   #2
The picture below describes the components of thermos flask, which can maintain temperature infor several hours.

Hey, where is the overview. Just describe the main observations of this diagram in you overview for the reader to get an overall picture about what you are getting ready to report.

All in all, thermos flask with around 30 - 40cm total of length could control maximum temperature regulations.

Instead of doing this at the end as a conclusion, you better bring it up to be an overview. For this task, overview is more appropriate than a conclusion.
dumi 1 / 6,930 1592  
Mar 18, 2014   #3
The next component is metal plastic, which is located at the neck of the flask.

Well, here you begin a new para and therefore the reader assumes you are going to tell some new idea. So you cannot start with a sentence that has reference to the above para.

Hey, where is the overview. Just describe the main observations of this diagram in you overview for the reader to get an overall picture about what you are getting ready to report.

In this task, it seems like a conclusion would do better than an overview. Hmmmmm.... it's a bit tricky :) You can even replace overview with the conclusion or vice verse :D
sandipsinh 37 / 90 3  
Mar 18, 2014   #4
Next part is called vacuum flask THAT IS OR WHICH IS divided into two parts:
This part is divided into two parts: FIRST part that is near vacuum is poor conductor and SECOND- in glass envelope - silvered - contains component that FUNCTIONS to decrease infrared radiation. The third component is the outer case, which is part of the body in the outer flask.


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