Hello,
I appreciate if someone can help me with my grammar and structure. Please give me advice.
Topic: Write about a person who had the biggest influences on you.
There is no question that some people play a significant role in their life. They could be their teachers, parents, and friends. My mom is the most influential people in my life. The things that has affected me the most were how my mom helped me overcome difficulties and how she supported my career in my life.
My first full-time job, after graduated, was working as an administrative assistance in a company. I thought it would an easy job for me. However, it was difficult for me to follow the fast-paced working environment. Also, dealing with a tons of emails a day made me overwhelmed and stressful. On the top of that, I cannot avoid making mistakes. I finally collapsed, and told my mom that I wanted to quit the job. She encouraged me with her own experiences, telling me for the past 20 years of she had devoted herself in the same company without complaints. "This is not a job." she said "It is your responsibility and commitment to your boss." Then, she told me when she felt discouraged and upset about work, she always thinks in positive; The mistakes I made will eventually help me be aware of every detail in the future. Working in a challenge place will be a great help to grow up and become a more competitive person. Her contributions and loyalty to the company taught me how I should take responsibility for my actions and always feel appreciation to things that help me grow. After that, I tried to get myself together and learned from experiences. When I came cross difficulties, my mom's words always inspire me and make me appreciate every hardship as my part of maturation.
Another example is my mom always shows supportive of any decisions I made. She respects my choice of studying abroad and paid all my tuition. It was not until recently when I learned what a strong and great my mom is. She spent her life-saving for me because she wanted to help me chase my "American Dream." I know she could treat her better with buying nicer dresses and traveling around if I did not choose to study abroad. She sacrificed all the pleasures that she deserved, and supported me to fulfill my dream.
My mom taught me to be a responsible person, to always have a positive attitude, and to love my family. Without my mom's encouragement and help, I would not be able to have opportunity to pursuit my career.
Just the last paragraph become I'm at work:
My mom has taught me many important lesions ranging from becoming a responsible person, to always have having a positive attitude, and to love my family. Without my mom's encouragement and help, I would have not be been able to have the opportunity to pursuit pursue my career.
Hi Chenqui,
I find some mistakes in the first and second paragraph of your essay. Below are the notes I take. Hope that they can help you. I would like to give you a piece of advice that you had better revise your gramma book again. You will feel easier to read and write if you do so.
My mom is the most influential people (person) in my life. The things that has affected me the most were how(what she did to)my mom helped me overcome difficulties and how(to) she supported my career in my life.
I thought it would be an easy job for me. However, it was difficult for me to follow(working in) the fast-paced working environment.
... telling me for the past 20 years of she had devoted herself in the same ...
"This(it) is not only a job." she said "It is (but also) your responsibility and commitment to your boss."
... The mistakes I made will(would) eventually help me be aware of ...\
Working in a challenge place (full of challenge) will be a great help to grow up and (who?) become a more competitive person.
Hi Chenqui,
- My mom is the most influential people person in my life.
... how my mom helped me to overcome difficulties and how she supported my career in my life.
- I thought it would be an easy job for me.
- Working in a place with full ofa challenge place will be a great help ...
- ... always shows supportive of any every decisionsthat I made.
- I know she could treat her herself better with buying nicer dresses ...
I think you made a good essay, only some mistakes that you make. Hope it will help you. Thank you.
