When olympic 2016 in Rio De Janeiro in Brazil. A lot of various facilities. Many people did not know about how many facilities and what the facilities that has been provided to all athletes. The common facility when olympic for warriors sport is the athletes village, it is like a university campus. In there available a mini bank, post office, as well as supermarket for their convenience. However, the athletes village would be a pretty exotic campus, since that event has own little beach for the warriors sport to feel like they are sunning themselves. The pretty exotic campus located in Copacabana in the run-up to their competitions.
In there, all of athletes have a little opening ceremony in center of the athletes village. Beside a little opening ceremony is welcomed fellow competitors from other countries. For competitors that staying at the village, they are given a food voucher for every cuisine. One of them cuisine, in there is only one food outlet in the village, and it is McDonalds. But the beds are far from comfortable with Trott even comparing them to camp beds. Everyone can travels around the village by bikes.
Hello @Fira28, I got some suggestions in your writing.
Here my advice:
1. When olympic 2016 in Rio De Janeiro in Brazil . A lot of various facilities. >> When the Olympic of Rio De Janeiro was held in Brazil, there were a lot of various facilities. (pay attention in S and V agreement and capitalization rules)
2. The common facility when olympic for warriors ... >> When the Olympic was held, a village was provided for the athletes as a common facility and it looked like a campus. (Pay attention in tenses and structure)
3. In there available a mini bank, post office, as well ... >> There are a mini bank, a post office and supermarket which support their convenience. (Pay attention S and V agreement. In one sentence, at least there are a subject and a verb)
hallo Fira,
i have checked your essay, and i would like to give some corrections.
1. at the second paragraph, in this line: "ceremony in center of the athletes village", it should be: "ceremony in center of the athlete's village", cause the village is a possession of athlete.
2. at the second line of the second paragraph "Beside a little opening ceremony is welcomed fellow competitors from other countries.", correct be: "Beside a little opening ceremony is welcoming fellow competitors from other countries."
thank you, wish it useful :)
Hi Fira,the followings are my humble suggestions regarding your essay:
- When olympic 2016 in Rio De Janeiro in Brazil (this sentence, if we can call it as a sentence, is unclear and incomplete, since it is confusing in the sense of meaning, it has no subject and verb as well).
- please pay attention to your flow. we can see clearly that the idea among sentences are unrelated.
Thank you. Feel free to visit my Thread. Keep practicing.
