Hi I appreciate your help in improving my essay. Thanks in advance.
Essay prompt:Children are learning things by watching TV and movies. What are advantages and disadvantages of this? Give reasons and examples.
Ever since television and film industry was introduced, numerous arguments were discussed pertaining to its influence on younger generation. While some people believe that TV and movies are harmful to children, others oppose and claim that they are beneficial. Both good and bad things learned from watching these shows will be discussed in this essay.
One of the most common problems complained by parents is violence. It is considered harmful because it influences a child to be violent towards their friends. Nowadays, violence is almost present on every show even on those that you would least expect. An example is the cartoon show "Tom and Jerry". This program shows a mouse and a cat repetitively fighting each other in different situations. For innocent minds, they would think it would be funny if they could imitate those actions towards their playmates. Thus, may result to injury and conflict. Another concern complained by parents is the unregulated screening of inappropriate scenes. These scenes if wrongly interpreted by young minds will trigger curiosity and intimacy among peers. In recent cases, it has been proven that adult films are some of the major factors causing early pregnancies.
Shows and films may cause undesired results but originally, they were created to benefit us especially the children. Firstly, the provision of educational shows has helped many parents educate their children. Programs like Barney and Sesame Street teach children learning fundamentals with less supervision and assistance from parents. Furthermore, it helps the young ones in preparing themselves for school. Secondly, some films feature moral lessons which instill values and virtues to the audience. Both components are vital to a child on becoming a good member of society.
In conclusion, children will learn so many good things from watching TV and movies. However, if left unattended, chances of learning bad things are also possible. Adults should be responsible in controlling the kind of film being viewed by children. In addition, proper guidance is also necessary to avoid misconceptions.
Ever since television and film industry waswere introduced
... television and films - two things
Ever since television and film industry was introduced, numerous arguments were discussed pertaining to its influence on younger generation.
"numerous arguments were discussed" - this sounds odd ... people argue or people discuss .... they don't discuss arguments (they can do this too , but it is not what you try to mean here)
Ever since television and film industry were invented, there had been, and still are, endless arguments on how they would affect the younger generation.One of the most common problems complained by parents is violence.
.... relate this idea to your topic;
One of the main complains against TV is that children tend to adopt violent behaviors by watching TV shows that contain such scenes.Nowadays, violence is almost present on every show even on those that you would least expect. An example is the cartoon show "Tom and Jerry". This program shows a mouse and a cat repetitively fighting each other in different situations. For innocent minds, they would think it would be funny if they could imitate those actions towards their playmates. Thus, may result to injury and conflict. Another concern complained by parents is the unregulated screening of inappropriate scenes. These scenes if wrongly interpreted by young minds will trigger curiosity and intimacy among peers. In recent cases, it has been proven that adult films are some of the major factors causing early pregnancies.
... good example ... but be careful that you do not run out of time for the task. If you can manage time well , then it's fine. Otherwise avoid lengthy explanations.
Ever since television and film industry were invented, there had been, and still are, endless arguments on how they would affect the younger generation.
I think the presence of the words, "Ever since " and "endless" makes the highlighted phrase unnecessary
thanks for your valuable feedback. I will work on improving my essays.
This person meant well, but I implore you to disregard his or her advice
copy that John.
