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IELTS Essay - do you think clothes communicate about culture and weather?

Mohini 2 / 2  
Nov 7, 2011   #1
Clothes are a necessary part of people's lives. What do you think clothes communicate about culture and weather?

In today's modern world, lives are highly dominated by fashion industry, which is one of the highest revenue generator part of a market. People are very cautious about their dressing style and sense. People spend huge part of their income on getting good and variety of dresses, because dressing style can tell about the weather and culture. This can be proven in the following essay.

Most of us would agree that, every culture has it' own dressing style. For Example, Muslim women wear black robes all the time, when they go out of the house, called "burkha". It is well known fact that they get punished, if they do not dress appropriately, whereas there are no rules for men. This shows that, men and women are not treated equally in Muslim countries.

In addition to this, we can tell about the climate based on clothing For instance, most people wear less clothes in summer as opposed to winter. Also, biggest clothing brands, change their clothing storage based on a season. Similarly clothing brands organizes expensive fashion shows for display of their new clothing styles for coming seasons, like summer collection, rainy season collection, winter collection.. This proves, how we can tell about weather conditions, if we look at clothing collection.

This shows clothes are not only used for covering the body, but also used for communicating the culture and weather. As the world population is increasing every day, it is quite clear that demand for clothing will increase and it is hoped that it will be the top industry in coming years.

kirilenko 1 / 4  
Nov 7, 2011   #2
It is farily good essay ,but I see that sometimes the way you used comma are not properly. You should check how exactly use the comma. I wanna change somethings for you. For example you could say "In addition, It also possible to say that climate are close related to the way people wearing clothes. For instance most people put on less clothes in summer as opposed to winter. Futhermore, many famous fashion firms base on season to change their fasionable styles and store a bulk of new clothes in inventory".
stellastella 18 / 25  
Nov 16, 2011   #3
while you are writing for an academic exam such as IELTS or TOEFL it is better to separate the paragraphes with phrases like Tobegin with or First of all for your first paragraph, What is more ar Second of all for your second paragraph ... and for conclusion use something like To sum up or To conclude .

They make your essay nicer and more clear.
abc1400 17 / 32  
Nov 16, 2011   #4
. For Example, -- > . For example,

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