my essay is still disordered. hope to recieve your supplement soon!
It's widely seen that in order to survive and improve we must be important in educating and promoting Vietnamese youths. The development of the youth not only affects the survival of country, also impacts on the future of the nation. Therefore, the youth always is the core force of every country.
At all times, Vietnamese youths are the important part to the development of our country. The duty of build a strong nation is on the youth's shoulder; thus, we are responsibe to perform this spiritual duty. Yet, most of our younger generations are students, so what they can do now is dedicating to studying, exercise moral life, and do physical exercise. Obviously, for students these are primary steps defining their right direction before they take charge the process of build up the country.
"Our ancestors had the merit of founding our country,so we are responsible for preserving and expanding it": said Uncle Ho. As new generations, we should work together to develop a powerful nation. However, recently, there are many cheat in educational environment such as copying condition, cheating at exams, fake certification, ect. For me, the attemp to get rid of this evil still fail to success, therefore, the primary way we can do now is to eliminate it in ourselves.
In conclusion, vietnamese youths play an important role in the career of innovation in our country; however, it's not easy to gain at once. As a result, our generations have to constantly try our best for long time. So, vietnamese youths will be people who develop country in the future.
1. what do u mean?? I cant get it.
2. not comma, "but also" instead
3. a nation
4. I prefer "major power" here :D
5. "play a vital part" is more suitable, huh?
6.to
7.responsible for performing
8."is studying"
9."learn to live a"
10+ 11."are in charge of building a country"
12.use "-" instead
13.you meant "situation" huh?
14, 15: spelling
16:succeed
17: delete it
18, 19: Vietnamese, "V" in capital
Generally, I think your essay is a little verbose. You should rather use shorter and simpler structure, which is much safer. You know "KISS"???? :D
And it's difficult to follow your train of thoughts. Therefore, I think you should put major points at the beginning of each paragraph.
What is more, remember to check grammar mistake before posting.
Anw, I am just a student learning how to master English like you. Above are some of my comments from my shallow knowledge.
Hope it helps!
Let's use the word "thoughtful"
It's widely seen that in order to survive and improve we must be important thoughtful while educating and promoting the success of Vietnamese youths. --- I added "the success of" so that you will be saying that you want to "Promote the success of the youths.
Use "not only, but also"
The development of the youth not only affects the survival of country, but also impacts on the future of the nation.
Capitalize Vietnamese.
In conclusion, vietnamese Vietnamese youths play an important role in ...
You have a nice way of writing! I think a little practice will eradicate all your errors. Practice typing these sentences with the corrections that we suggest.
Also, read them aloud. Speaking and typing are the best kinds of practice.
:-)
