Technology and environmental problems
Development in technology has brought environmental problems. Some think that people need to have simpler lifestyles in order to solve the problems. Others,however, believe technology itself is the solution. Discuss both views and give opinions
Undoubtedly, technological advancement put the environment at risk. Some people suppose that tranquil lifestyle can alleviate the problem. However, others argue that the environmental issue can be tackled by technology itself. Both viewpoints have their own validity.
On the one hand, living under economical condition can be beneficial for several reasons. With the help of technology, excessive use of packaged food is prevalent which damages severely the natural habitats. For this reason, simple lifestyle seems to be a viable solution which reduce the over-consumption. Consequently, the rivers and roads are not heavily contaminated due to household waste. More importantly, this way of living can promote people's well-being, especially mental health. Adopting minimalism can refresh people's mind and release anxiety and depression. They are not overwhelmed by the variety of products on the internet which causes stresses and strains.
On the other hand, the fact that high-tech devices prove fruitful in preserving the environment may be true to some extent. Obviously, with the proliferation of mass media, the profound impacts of technological progress are undeniable. Therefore, it is a useful tool for people to raise awareness of environmental issue. The users have access to the update information to gain knowledge about severity and urgency of the problem. Moreover, celebrities can inspire people to take actions under their influences. Additionally, in the world of speed, people from all over the world can interact with others about the ecological balance to make the situation more commonplace. Eventually, people are affected tremendously by the power of media.
On balance, technology has its own merits and demerits. From my point of view, people should make good use of it and minimize the drawbacks of technology for the sake of the environment.Hello~
Generally speaking, the use of sentences and vocabulary are both very well in your essay.
I only have a few suggestions. Firstly, you are good at using conjunctions and adverbs in your sentences, which makes readers able to read the essay clearly. However, it seems like you overuse them, especially in the third paragraph ( obviously, therefore, additionally... ). They appear immediately and frequently after one sentence. I believe you should find a balance of using them.
Furthermore, the arguments in your third paragraph are actually quite similar. Maybe you can check the arguments again, delete the parts which are too repetitive and give some new ideas in it such as owing to the evolution of technology, the process of production has been simplified and less contaminated.
Hope my suggestions are helpful for you~
Thank you so much I will get your suggestions
Hi~
I think we can connect into:
... the problem, while others argue over whether the environmental issue ... Both view points ...
My corrections are solely based on my experiences and I hope it would help.
Hello there,
I appreciate for your ideas in the essays!
Here are my suggestions. Feel free to change your essay like I did or not.
1. With the help of technology, excessive use of packaged food is prevalent ....
"with the help of technology" sounds little bit strange because technology leads to the excessive use of packaged food.
"packaged food " could be changed into "packaged products " because you didn't mention food in the following sentences.
2. More importantly, this ... Adopting minimalism ...
It might be better if changing the sequence of these two sentence.
More importantly, adopting minimalism lifestyle can refresh ... They are not overwhelmed by ... This way of living can promote people's ...
3. Obviously, with the proliferation of ...
To be honest, this sentence is not clear to summarize the influence of media in the following lines.
Best of luck as always.
