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Do you think a professional stager's job is interesting? Could you do it? Why or why not.


greenw4y 2 / 1  
Jul 27, 2015   #1
Topic: Do you think a professional stager's job is interesting? Could you do it? Why or why not. (5-8 sentences)

In my opinion, a professional stager's job is very interesting. I think I could do that job because of many reasons. First, I am a well-ordered person. From my point of view, this is the most important character to be a professional stager. Furthermore, I am a creative person. With this character, I think I could make the house look more beautiful and unique. In a word, this interesting job is worth to try.

P.S. Please help me check this paragraph. Is there any mistake? Is it well-structured?

Thank you :"3

lcturn87 - / 435 236  
Jul 27, 2015   #2
I can help you with any improvements to this paragraph.

The first sentence is very good because it builds up the reader's anticipation regarding what you will say next. The third sentence is vague. There are multiple meanings of stagger so it would be beneficial to describe this with a comparison.

For example, if I were to write a paper about SAG without describing it, some maybe confused because it is just an acronym. However, if I state that it means Screen Actor's Guild then the reader knows this involves actors or actresses. This is what you should do in this paragraph. You state the characteristics needed for the job, but don't describe what the job entails or the job duties.

Ex: "First, I am an organized person, which is a quality that is necessary to construct housing plans like a professional stager." This sentence would tell the reader that a professional stager constructs plans for houses and since you are organized, you would be a good fit for the job. This is what is lacking in your sentences.

There are only minor mistakes in your writing. Character should be characteristic throughout the paragraph. The fourth sentence should read:"... characteristic to become a professional stagger." The last sentence delete to try and replace with trying.
gayan1991 3 / 7 1  
Jul 27, 2015   #3
Hi, I believe I'm not conveying any kind of wrong message.

I see a lot I in their. Even though people want to know direct communication, they might not use first person language. Your start and ending is the same. Middle sentences could be bigger.

The following passage would show how it is paraphrased from your text

I believe it's an interesting choice to be stage actor, let alone professional stage actor. It brings out few key qualities to be successful stager. One of them would be a well-ordered person. Another key quality would be creativity which helps to stay in this job. With this character, I could make it more interesting and bring unique atmosphere to the environment, It is worth of shot


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