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IELTS, Even though developing countries receive financial help, poverty is still an issue


phuoc 7 / 13 4  
Oct 31, 2013   #1
Developed countries are supporting developing countries to fight poor conditions mainly through financial aid but perceived improvement is not as desired. Experts suggest considering more effective and long-term help so poor countries can most benefit. I strongly agree that stable help such as economic investments and skill and education training are practical and affordable approaches.

In fact, economic investments trigger various developments in developing countries in many aspects. The governments in both sides should encourage companies to invest infrastructures and specialists to developing countries through their policies, such as free tax. This will create many jobs and employers will be better trained to meet the high quality requirement. Also, this will in turn make the development of different services in the surrounding area.

On the other hand, scholarship aid to excellent students in developing countries to study in developed countries is a long term help. They will learn high-tech skill and knowledge as well as professional working environments. Later on, they will train other people in their countries what they have learned, hence more and more people can receive better education by this method. To achieve effective help, the governments should take more priority to give scholarships to the areas that developing countries most demand, have potentials and that the develop countries are strong in these area.

To conclude, financial aids to developing countries are necessary for their immediate expense. However longer term help such as economic investments and education help such as scholarships have been shown to have good impacts for future development of developing countries.

dumi 1 / 6,930 1592  
Oct 31, 2013   #2
Developed countries are supporting developing countries to fight poor conditionspoverty mainly through financial aid but perceived improvement is not achieved as desired.

Experts suggest considering more effective and long-term help so poor countries can most benefit.

... the latter part of the sentence does not support your flow. Rather, your flow breaks there giving a confused feeling to the reader.
It is always good to include your prompt in the essay. Then we know what it exactly requires. Anyway, I feel you should introduce the background of this argument after the hook.


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