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Ielts Task 2: Even though globalization affects the world's economics in a very positive way,...


pdeep37 6 / 13  
Oct 4, 2015   #1
World is converting to the global village which shift world economics to become globalization. However, it does have certain merits but and demerits as well. Which are going to discuss in below paragraph.

Firstly the advantages of the globalization: this concept delivers the value of assurance to the people for getting quality goods with reasonable price. The prices remain almost same all over the world. So there is no chance of bribery or middle man commission. Which improvise the better product with good life to the people. For example, the multi-national brand soft drink coca-cola selling price is almost same in all over the world. Similarly, besides consumer's aspects, government gets the high ratio of foreign trade investment in the country. This leads to create new job opportunity, which addresses the certain aspects of the unemployment problem of the nation. For instance US based APPLE company open iphone manufacture plant in China.

Secondly, the disadvantages of the globalization of the world economics is quite realistic and prosperous for the nation. If nation fail to control, then it could be disastrous for the nation own industries because multinational or global industry have huge investment and strong consumer followers. It could make local consumes to divert from local product to the high brand value products. After all, everybody wants to use branded goods. Likewise, it could be quite tough for the local industries to compete, because of the cost of production would be quite cheaper than the local goods which make local company to lay back and may lead to the shutdown their business as well.

In conclusion, I would like to say that, the globalization of the economic for under develop or developing country could be dangerous, if government could not manage to monitor them. But it does have certain benefits for the nation people as well. This makes people to use the fine products with suitable price.

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I am preparing for the IELTS exam, for writing task 2, this is what I write within 40 min. I am iooking forward for your comments, suggestion and band score.

It will help me a lot to improve my writing skills.

Thanks

hasbi 29 / 42 23  
Oct 4, 2015   #2
Hi, Pdeep,.,

What the topic your essay,.,?

this is my suggestion,
first, you should understand the question. and make differ the background, facts, opinion. and give your thesis statement.

World is converting to the global village which shift world economics to become globalization. However, it does have certain merits but and demerits as well. Which are going to discuss in below paragraph.---> your introduction is shorter. where the thesis statement?

and is not clearly what do you will write in the body of passage.

First paragraph. your explanation predominantly use short sentence. make complex your sentence
and i think you should follow a pattern for making good paragraph.
for one idea paragraph like this.
main idea--> explanations--->example-->effect--->conclusion(if need)
or multiple idea paragraph like this:
idea-->explanation, idea-->explanation, idea-->expalanation,

and conclusion is not cover all of the explanation of content from all paragraphs.
and understand the question, what your tasks?

good luck


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