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It is often thought that currency is one of the ways to measure happiness. Ielts money topic


trangtrang21094 1 / - 2  
Nov 7, 2015   #1
Statement :
Some people believe that money is the most important factor for achieving happiness. However, others believe that happiness has nothing to do with money.
Do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The essay:
It is often thought that currency is one of the ways to measure happiness. While I agree with this viewpoint, I believe that there are other factors which should be considered to achieve happiness.

It is true that money can bring many opportunities to achieve happiness such as better quality education and healthcare treatment. In fact, it allows us to attend well-known universities in the United States of America or the United Kingdom, which are said to be very expensive to follow. In other words, we can access to the better educational system and that makes many students satisfied. Moreover, travelling is one of the exciting activities people can experience if they have enough budget for this. That is to say, money creates more chances for people to try new challenges in life.

However, money is not the only important factor to measure happiness on the ground that happiness consists of other factors such as satisfaction. If an employer earns lots of income annually but it does not his favourite work, he will feel more stressful than happy and satisfied. An example of Bill Gates, who is the founder of Microsoft. He and his wife have been doing charity to help to improve the educational system in America. He said that his happiness is to be able to help people rather than spend money on material possessions.

In conclusion, happiness is a complex concept to define because each person has their own definition. However, I am strongly convinced that happiness does not come just from money but other factors such as satisfaction as well.

[ Please check my essay and give me some advice to improve. I very appreciate with your help and have a nice day :)! ]
Ssakshijain 28 / 146 87  
Nov 7, 2015   #2
Hi Trinh Tih

Your idea is good but somehow you lack the coherence and formation of sentences along with grammar mistakes. Here I tried to mention some.

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However, money is not the only important factor to measure happiness on the ground thatbecause happiness consists ofcomes from other factorstoo such as satisfaction. If an employer earns lots ofa huge income annually but itif he/she does not his favouriteenjoy their work, hethey will feel more stressful than happy and satisfied. AnexampleofConsider the founder of Microsoft, Bill Gates, who isHe andwho along with his wife haves been doing charity to help to improve the educational system in America. He said that his happiness is to be able to help people rather than spend money on material possessions is wonderful.


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