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Some of my thoughts - an essay

Rajiv 55 / 400  
Aug 12, 2008   #1
Do we really cause things to happen - as, does something within ourselves do this?
Some things, some actions appear natural and correct, and others appear strained. Take something very ordinary like walking along with someone. I notice and I'm sure the other person does too, those things which are not natural. Simple things, not necessarily in what we are talking, but even actions, if I do make them. To bring this out in greater relief, it is most obvious when, these individuals are seeking to impress the other, maybe with some aspect of themselves, that they believe, or maybe they are themselves uncertain about, but wonder if it may be so.

But I am drawing attention to only that which is natural and asking, why is it so?
We are almost always, apparently making choices from a multitude of many - of things we could do, and ways we could do them. I may stop now and make a cup of coffee or, I may get up and go sit elsewhere. Or, that I chose to write.

But later, when someone asks me and I tell them I did this, or I didn't do this, they think of some actions as natural and others may strike them as weird, or they may think, good for you, you finally got around to it. These things appear more and more as only the expected. And growing out in an expected way.

But we're trying to talk about the unexpected happening, in a natural way.
As when considering two varieties of corn, of which we know one has superior growth, we watch them over days and weeks and see this difference, but don't see anything now indicating that it would happen as this.

We think about individuals we've known, those we grew up close with and have seen their traits. Then we come to know about them after a period of many years. That it turned out as such and such is not a surprise to us, but that something in particular happened with them, surprises us and sets us thinking, and we say to ourselves, that's life. It's something totally unexpected, yet we accept it as natural, and even try to take some lesson for ourselves from it.

This is what I am trying to talk about, that nature acts, and acts in a way that is somehow appropriate, befits just who we are, just who we needed to become - which then we do, due to that natural intervention to our life.

EF_Team5 - / 1,586  
Aug 12, 2008   #2
Good evening.

What is the prompt or guidelines for this assignment?

Moderator, EssayForum.com
OP Rajiv 55 / 400  
Aug 13, 2008   #3
hello Gloria,

This is not an assignment in the usual sense of the word as I do not have to turn it in.

I would be grateful for your feedback on two counts. Clarity of my expression and your own thoughts, if you will, on what I wrote.

Thank you.

EF_Team5 - / 1,586  
Aug 13, 2008   #4
This website is for assistance with academic writing as it pertains to schoolwork. For other writing assistance, per our TOS, I suggest you seek paid writing service assistance.
OP Rajiv 55 / 400  
Apr 5, 2009   #5
Some time ago I put this up but the moderator did not respond.. not to the questions I asked anyway. I think there are still persons on this forum who see value in just an intelligent exchange, and sometimes, just the exercise to express.

I'll be happy to hear from anyone...

A suggestion to the moderators.. this requirement of reviewing a number of items of others before being able to post oneself, is too harsh. I think it weakens the quality of writing.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Apr 5, 2009   #6
What?! Go read some essays and tell what effect they had on you. You are brilliant... bilingual, even. More qualified than I am to help this diversity of scholars.

Wow, I have helped people whose English is so harsh that I had to carefully word my advice so that they would understand... and even THEY have plenty of ability to contribute. We all do, nd that is the advantage of this kind of forum. It is what it is. The pressure you are talking about is the pressure that empowers.

I think I know what to do. I will make a page where I explain all the different ways in which people can help, even if they are just now learning English. The thing is, pressure is what makes us learn. Ha ha, even if it is fro arguing with us about our policies, pressure makes memorable, deep learning. :)

I think your advice here is very important, though, because it will encourage me to find a way to explain to members that everyone's opinion helps. You work mainly with translations, but with other students, an essay is a piece of art. When I show you my art, your opinion counts. I want to know what you think. I don't want to only hear from people who grew up speaking English. Globalization is a process that brings us all together, ad all the different perspectives count.

So... in the spirit of collaboration... experience several essays and interact with their authors, even if you lack confidence. That is what this is all about! :)
Rosamond 3 / 26  
Apr 6, 2009   #7
I don't want to only hear from people who grew up speaking English. Globalization is a process that brings us all together, ad all the different perspectives count.

That was truly imoressive. I never thought of it that way. That is stimulating!


Mr. Rajiv

I sincerely tried to help, but I could not make out anything of your thoughts! I am really not that brilliant, but I am no stupid either! Perhaps your thoughts need some arrangement. The title counts as well.

I think there are still persons on this forum who see value in just an intelligent exchange, and sometimes, just the exercise to express.

This is an inspiring idea , and I do see value in that. It is a new wxperience for me to get to sound others out.

I tuly wish I could be of aid.

Forgive me!
EF_Sean 6 / 3,491  
Apr 6, 2009   #8
"some thoughts - an essay" This seems to be the crux of your problems. An essay is not usually a collection of thoughts, or rather, it is not usually just a collection of thoughts. It is a collection of thoughts organized for a specific purpose. The ideas in your essay seem to share a certain theme, but there is no clear thesis statement, or transitions guiding the reader from one idea to the next. What you have now could be a good brainstorming freewrite that you could use as the raw material for an essay, though, so try rewriting it after first distilling your main point down into a clear, easily understandable sentence that can act as a thesis.

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