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IELTS task1 - The three different purposes of water used in six ares of the world

Tammy241 1 / -  
Nov 14, 2020   #1
please help me with my gramma.

summarise information from the graph

The pie charts illustrate the three different purposes of water used in six ares of the world.
According to the charts, apart from North America and Europe, we can see that the water used for Agricultural has highest percentage. In contrast, water used forDomestic seem to has lowest percentage in those areas but South America.

First it can be seem from the graphs that water used for Agricultural has occupied more percentage in the pie charts. Especially Central Asia, it got 88% in the pie charts and Africa, South East Asia and South America had 84%, 81%, and 71%. However, North America and Europe had only, 39% and 32%.

Second, In North America and Europe, the highest percentage in their charts were 48% and 53% for industrial use. It is interesting that no matter in any six areas, water used for Domestic did not have the highest percentage in those areas.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,312 3348  
Nov 14, 2020   #2
Your summary overview can use more work. The summary overview is best presented as complete when it represents:
- The number of images provided (number of pie charts)
- 3 purposes indicated
- 6 countries the measurements was taken in
- measurement type (percentage)
- Trending statement

A total of 5 sentences representing the most important information you will be discussing in the next 2 paragraphs. Now, based on the number of discussion focus presented in along with the images, this should be a 4 paragraph essay representing:

- Summary overview + trending statement
- Industrial use discussion for the 6 countries
- Agricultural use for the 6 countries
- Domestic use for the 6 countries

Each paragraph for each specific usage must do a comparative discussion of the 6 countries within it. That will require up to a 5 sentence discussion per paragraph for each topic. Try to present no more than 195 words at the most in the overall essay. Keep the comparisons short but informative. Straightforward information presentation will be best. Why did I say this?

Review your essay, you never presented any measurements for domestic usage. You did not include the percentage even though the trending statement indicated that it has the lowest measurement among all 3 areas of water consumption within the 6 countries. That means you have omitted informing the examiner about an aspect of the image presentation. The data provided is therefore incomplete and cannot be scored based on a complete and proper analysis of the provided information.

By the way, you accidentally capitalized the word "domestic" in your presentation. That is not a proper noun and should never be presented using a capitalized first letter.

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