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The three products Consumption in China during 1985 to 2010 - fishes are the most popular


Lita27 16 / 21 2  
Mar 15, 2016   #1
The presented graph gives information about the amount of meat, salt and fish consumed by Chinese from 1985 to 2010. Each kind of food measured in grams per person per week. Overall, it can be seen that a moderate fluctuation occurred in fish consumption and it is noted as the highest figure among others. Subsequently, salt and meat moved a reverse direction in which salt rate was the only figure experiencing a significant decline.

Despite beginning with a particular unstable manner in the first ten years, the level of fish consumption experienced a gradual increase. In a week, a Chinese consumed 600 grams of fish during 1985, the data showed. This level climbed by 100 grams in the following five years prior to coming back to the previous point. Afterward, the rate moved upward to finish the rest of the years reaching up to approximately 850 grams.

Turning to salt and meat consumption percentages, they started with a wide gap, stood at a hair under 500 (salt) and at 100 (meat). Over a 25-year period, the disparity came closer and matched at the point of 200.



hanimps97 3 / 4 1  
Mar 15, 2016   #2
Hi Lita, actually your essay has explained the main features generally but I get the most interesting point for meat and salt. personally, I suggest you change the way you describe the alteration between them. perhaps you can use this :

Moving on to salt and meat consumption percentages which experienced significant gap in the starting level. Interestingly, both of them showed the same amount at the end of period at 200 though the proportion of salt started four times more than meat at roughly 390.
Ban123 1 / 1  
Mar 16, 2016   #3
... consumed by Chinese from 1985 to 2010, each measured in grams per person per week. Overall, it can be seen that a moderate fluctuation occurred in fish consumption but is the highest figure among others. Subsequently, salt and meat consumption moved a reverse direction where salt rate is the only figure experiencing a significant decline

Note:
(The fluctutation occured but i think when it comes to rate...it is not was)
RAY93 35 / 186 136  
Mar 22, 2016   #4
Hy lita, i didn't find any big mistakes on your essay, i just give a suggestion and some correction. check it, i may wrong. thanks

The presented graphtry to avoid write the presented/the given/... in introduction since it is an outdated style of IELTS writing
salt and meat moved ON A reverse direction in which

a Chinese --> chinese is plural word describe the people of China, so it can' be match with article a


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